The Homeschooling Debate

I like to lead a quite life...I really do, but I have felt the need to post this blog for a week so here goes.

My eyes were opened a few days ago when reading a cyber friend's blog. She is quite funny with sarcastic undertones to her writing which I love. She makes me laugh a lot, but that's not why I read her blog. I read because to be honest her life completely intrigue's me. She has 4 bio children and 8 children adopted from Ethiopia. I knew to raise this many kid's this woman must be my kinda woman. She is fierce, she is good, and she loves her kids. Her blog is www.paulandchrissy.blogspot.com


You really have to read her blog post entitled, "10 things I would like to say to homeschool mom's" to understand the point of this post. I'm going to try and link it if my technologically illiterate brain can figure it out. Anyway, I read it on a day I was hormonal mind you and it upset me. At first I thought I was completely right when I commented how I was irritated and "rubbed the wrong way," but after pondering and sleeping on it, (I highly recommend this before you ever comment on a public blog) I came to a different conclusion.

After this week I have come to some realizations about life especially how we school our kids. We make choices A LOT of the time based on past experience, circumstance, and prejudice that comes from our own experience.

Let me back up and give you a little history.This all started actually a few months ago when one of my best friends was here to visit. I love her dearly and I respect her for way more reasons than one, but one of those reasons is her kids. I have to say she has two of the best, most well behaved, God loving kids I have ever met. She started out with the full intention of homeschooling and did for a couple of years until her life changed in a horrible way. Her husband, the man that promise to love and cherish her cheated and left her. DIVORCE. It happened to someone I never thought it would. She struggled to make ends meet and put herself through college to be a school teacher. It brings tears to my eyes writing this thinking of how she took her babies to school with her. Can you imagine the will and determination she had. She has a master's degree and her kids are still in public school. Her circumstance changed and her dream of homeschooling became a distant hope. While she was here and we were discussing it my eyes were opened a tiny bit to circumstance.

Then just this past week while enjoying a MUCH needed date with the hubs I met a lady, a godly, Holy Spirit filled lady. We were talking about the Lord and raising children. I made a comment something like this, "I love homeschooling my daughter." The lady then proceeded to tell me how wonderful public school is and how if it wasn't for her teachers growing up she may not be here today, how she raise two daughter's on her own and had no choice but to send them to school. They too grew up to be godly women. She told me her mom died when she was 11 and her 16 year old sister raised her and her 5 siblings. Her sister made them read to her every night and encouraged their learning. She told me how our kids need to be salt and light in the school system. (I don't completely agree with this statement for elementary aged children, but that's another post.) After our conversation I was annoyed. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt like I was being reprimanded for homeschooling. (we homeschooling mom's do get a lot of harsh comment's too) I didn't realize it at the time, but my eyes were opened more to prejudice.

Also, this past week a dear friend confided in me that her husband and her were praying about putting their sweet boy in school. I could tell she was torn and inside I was torn for her too. This is where the judgmental spirit comes in. I started thinking thought's like, "What if he get's made fun of? What if he's bullied? How's his mom going to do this after homeschooling? I feel sorry for him." etc...

Then I read Chrissy's post and I didn't like being lumped with all the homeschooling mom's that berate public school mom's. After much thought and prayer I realized maybe the reason if offended me was because it was me. So there you have it I'm confessing my sin, but let me tell you where it started. Remember earlier in my post when I said our experience, circumstance, and prejudice defines us and dictates our choices. Well I HATED SCHOOL!!!!!! I hated it! I was bullied in high school by the senior girls my sophomore year because they thought I had slept with one of "their boys". I had about 20 girls waiting on me at my locker one year to beat me up, this happened a lot. I hated elementary school because I was tall and lanky. I weighed about 70 pounds in the 9th grade and was taller than all the boys. When I did make it to high school I had a horrible home life, all the boys wanted me for was sex, and I had a few true girlfriends. Anyway, I won't go into the gory details. It was bad trust me and I couldn't wait to get OUT. This was MY experience.

I was called by God to home-school because I would have never chosen it for myself. Lily was actually enrolled in a Christian school. Again my experience made me not want her in public school. I didn't want to home-school originally because I'm selfish and it's hard. I'm horrible at grammar and math and most days I pray my kid's can learn from me. It is only through the Holy Spirit I can do it at all. I love being here with my kids, I love seeing Sam draw a heart for the first time, teaching Lily to read, seeing them inquire about things, and the wheels turning in their little heads. I cherish every moment and when ask I will encourage and cheer on anyone that wants to do it. I'm done however judging people that don't.

You see there are experiences, circumstances, and prejudices that make people choose. That is the beauty of grace. We pray, we are led, we choose, and if we mess up God fixes it. That's what He did for me anyway. I messed up and was messed up in a public school, but God in His great love for me pulled me up out of the PIT and redeemed me.

So to ALL my public school mama friends....no more judging from this messed up home-school mom. As far as I'm concerned we're in this together!

And to you Chrissy.....Thank you for your post!