Pondering the Babe......

This time of year always brings conflict in my head. I struggle with the excess of it all, while trying to enjoy the sweetness of it. I want to think on my Savior, but I get caught up in the stuff. I love watching the kids open gifts with eyes full of wonder and I cry because there are kids that have no wonder.

The media sites have made it so that we see and hear the conflicts that are taking place immediately. This too consumes our minds and hearts. We as Christians struggle to determine how to handle sin and the worldly. We live here on this sphere, ever turning, ever so small in comparison to the great galaxy that our God created, we live. Others are suffering, dying, gasping for their very breath, while we fight over words and homosexuality.

All of this has me thinking about the Babe, the One that was wrapped in swaddling clothes, and laid in a filthy manger. I have been reading and looking for Him this year. Where is He in our conversations, where is He when we are battling with right and wrong, where is He in the obscene amount of gifts around the tree? The Babe, the Christ, the King, that came for you and for me, a chosen vessel to die for our sin on a tree. How does His heart ache for us, the ones He came for?

How it must hurt Him to see us consumed with the consumable, the things of this world that are perishing even now. How He looks and sees the money that we spend on the frivolous, all the while the poor are suffering. Don't get me wrong and don't judge my words, I am with you. I enjoy what He has so graciously blessed me with. Solomon urged us to enjoy what God has given us, to enjoy what we work for. That is not what I am saying. I'm saying how does it feel to be the God of the universe come down as a Babe, a squalling infant, birthed from a human womb, born to a carpenter, no one in your own hometown receiving you? To be HIM and see us in our sin, choosing to stay here, in the mire, and filth of our humanness. Saying we LOVE, throwing around that word like a band aid that heals all wounds. We say we LOVE, but do we show our LOVE?

I think on Him and His life here. How He came in the lowest estate, G-O-D came as a Babe. He could have came robed in fine garments, a kingly robe, a crown, but He came as a baby. A young girl no doubt scared as her contractions came, her womb tightening around our Savior, the baby descending into her pelvis for birth. CHRIST birthed......

He grew into a man, our Christ, our Lord. He sat and ate with the vilest sinners in town. He didn't have to argue sin, His light and His words brought conviction. They came and found HIM, the dirty, the drunk, the whore, the bleeding, they found the BABE. He SAVES the wretch. No matter your sin, whether it be fornication, adultery, drunkenness, homosexuality, lust, gluttony, lying, pornography, cutting, pride, hatred, He SAVES.

We "celebrate" His birth on a day, we call it Christmas. We prepare for months, buying gifts, wrapping them, baking cookies, elves on the shelves, reindeer food, tinsel, and balls, but what if we truly looked for the Babe and found Him in the chaos? What if we took the time to sit with sinners? What would happen to Christianity if we looked like the BABE? If we stopped caring about our appearance, what we have, what we don't have, and we GAVE the gift of CHRIST. If our light shown like the Christmas star, what would happen? Our kindness leading sinners to repentance.

We have received the greatest GIFT in the BABE. It is so cliché to say that He is a gift, but where would you be without the giving? I would be lost, depressed, wallowing in self pity, a sinner girl dead.

The Babe called me by name, He drew me unto Himself, and He washed me. Those who knew me before can testify to the change. This didn't not happen because of me. I am not good, I am not kind, I am not clean. I want to illuminate the manger this year with the promise of grace and truth.

This Christmas I pray that you seek the Babe, that you look, and find HIM. I pray that you will stop for a moment and thank Him for coming. Bow before our Lord and give HIM praise. I hope that we all can determine in our hearts a balance in this world. Balance the spiritual while living in this realm. Be kind and generous to others. We are here to be like Him, the Babe, the KING, the glorious LORD of all.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

The End of Our Adoption Story.........

 October 21, 2013 

 

It has been 8 days since my plane touched down on American soil. For 8 days I have been toiling. Wondering how I will write this post. I feel a need to please everyone. We have had complaints of our Speak Out blog being too emotional, too harsh, too demeaning, so I decided to post here. I have tried to think of how I would write this chapter without emotion. I have found that this is an impossible task. This journey has been wrought with emotion; ups and downs, hills and valleys. I can't tell this story without emotion, without the fear, the dread, the utter sadness of it all. So please, reader, bear with me as I try to articulate the pain and the beauty of our story.

On October 7, 2013, I set out on a mission: a mission to find the truth, a mission to find a daughter. I flew into Haiti after weeks of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the “what ifs.” I arrived, and I felt it; that feeling that I feel in Haiti, the connection to a people. I smelled the fragrance of burning coals, heard the bustling in the streets and saw the people, the people that I have grown to love. This mission was burned into my heart. I could not let a lie keep me from the truth.

On August 13, 2013, we received a letter from Voice of the Orphan stating that R's mom had revoked her consent to adopt. See my blog post here. On September 12, 2013, we received the following fake revocation of adoption from Voice of The Orphan. This fake document would be my grace from God. I had been begging for months for information in regards to R's history and birth parents, but I had never received any of the information. This document led me to her: to the woman who held R in her womb.

(Fake Revocation Of Consent to Adopt. R's mother never appeared in court and she never revoked her consent to adopt.)

I have often thought of her. What is she like? Is she good? Where does she live? Where was R born? I had booked the trip to Haiti determined to find her, and to find out the answers to my questions. Just days before I traveled, someone found her. They found her living in extreme poverty. This person told her that I was requesting to meet with her to discuss the legality of the adoption as well as R's future, and she agreed.

This mother, showing great resilience, borrowed money from neighbors, took a taxi to the crèche, and waited for over 3 hours as they retrieved her daughter. Heather Elyse had been hiding R in her personal home, but she was now with a woman they call Madame Pastor's Wife. I assume Heather had to hide her to keep up the lie she had told (that R's mom had taken her back). G (R's mom) then walked to a secret location where a van waited to bring her to me.

I was so nervous and prayed continually throughout the morning. I was doubting she would come, and I couldn't believe that she would bring R. She made a 1 1/2 hour trip to Port au Prince to meet with me. I walked to meet her at the gate. There she was, beautiful, just as I had imagined. She was holding R. R smiled the biggest smile and hugged me tight. They came and sat with us for hours. During this time my heart was broken. I watched as a little girl I have loved from afar love her mommy. She clung to her. They smiled at each other. They LOVE each other.

I asked all the questions I had prepared. Did she understand adoption? Did she want me to parent R? Did she know that she wouldn't see her again? Her answers astounded me. She had no idea what adoption was. She thought I would bring R frequently to see her. She asked me to buy her a phone so she could call her every week. She didn't understand that R would lose her language within 6 months of coming to America. She was looking for someone to feed and clothe her daughter, she wasn't looking for another family for her.

It was time to leave. R gave me two big kisses on the lips, we sang Jesus loves me, and our ABC's. I got into the car and wept. I saw R as G's daughter. She is not mine. God formed her in the womb of a poor mother in Haiti. Poverty does not an orphan make. G wants her daughter! G sent R with another biological mom that we have since found out was being paid to find kids for the creche. G couldn't feed her daughter. She is 26 years old with 3 other children and no job: she had no means to support another child. She is a strong, healthy woman, but mostly she is a mom.

R is now with her mom. Reunited with the woman that birthed her into this world. I am home. I go into the room that was prepared for her, I see the excess of clothes, the new bunk beds for her and her big sissy...but it's not enough. Our love, our wealth, it is not enough to take her from her mom, from her home, from her culture.

I thought I would be saving an impoverished little girl, but through this, she has saved me. She has saved me from thinking that somehow our family is better, that somehow being here would lead her to Jesus. She has taught me the truth of God's providence. He can use her in Haiti. Her mother, with help, can be empowered to take care of HER children. I can support them from afar, I can LOVE her still.

Love is what this is. Love is caring for a woman and her 4 children. Love is not selfish and doing what makes me and my family FEEL good. Love is sacrifice.

Out of our family's tragedy came restoration. Out of our loss came great gain. Out of the lies and deception, hope was born. If you want to help support moms like G, if you want to empower them to keep their children, if you want to not only say, “be warm and filled,” but you want to warm and fill a family, go to:

 

Empowering Haitian Moms
P.O. Box 4142
Chesterfield MO 63006
Or Paypal at empoweringhaitainmoms@gmail.com

                  Please write “Restoration” in the memo.

All donations are tax deductible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

God Still Sends a Rainbow......

For those of you that have followed or read my blog I'm sure you noticed the shift. My blog started out as a journal. I wanted to have every detail written down in regards to our adoption. The shift came and I started writing about facing giants and fighting a good fight. Since last November I have known something wasn't right with our agency. I knew then that God was calling me to do VERY hard things. He has raised me and many others up to be a voice for the fatherless.

You can continue this journey with me and the other families at: Speaking Out


Please continue to pray for sweet Rebekah. I have no idea where she is, but I know God is protecting her and watching her. We serve a great BIG God who SEES and knows everything. I trust Him and He is always sending me rainbows as a reminder of His faithfulness to me.

Facing A Giant

We all have heard the story of a little shepherd boy that defeated the giant with a stone and a sling. We have looked through picture books depicting David as a small, fragile, and weak looking boy.

I was crying out to the Lord about a certain situation I am currently in. I was asking Him how in the world could I face such a giant. He spoke and reminded me of David. A shepherd boy tending his flock, a boy that was dearly loved by his God. He was spoke of in Samuel 16:18 as, "a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him." David is described as, "ruddy, with beautiful eyes, and he was handsome." Something else we know about David was his musical talent and ability. So here we have a handsome young man out in the fields tending his sheep all the while humming a tune. I wonder if it was there God was preparing David? As David gently led his sheep. As he took his shepherd's hook and tenderly led one back to the fold. As he sang praises to God and made melody in his heart. Was it then that God was rising up a warrior? Did David know when he was single handedly slaying bears and lions for the sake of his sheep that this was a sharpening of his skills for war?

David was ready only because of his trust and faith in a holy God. He knew who it was that protected him and gave him strength. David said in 1 Samuel 17:37, "The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine." He trusted in the Lord so much that he took off the warriors armor and took up five stones. Can you imagine running toward a 9-10 foot giant with a rock? David trusted God.

I look at my own life and I wonder. I wonder if the trials that I have faced have prepared me for this battle? As the Lord looks upon me does He see a faithful servant, a warrior ready to fight?

He is worthy of this battle and I'm trusting Him to defeat my enemy. The Lord will prevail and I will give Him praise. It looks as if the enemy will win. Just like goliath my foe is a giant, powerful, and full of deceit. A liar that cloaks themselves in religious jargon and eloquent speech. There has to be a preparation time before we approach our enemy, we have to know their weapons. satan disguises himself as an angel of light, he is cunning, crafty, and sneaks in unnoticed. If it were possible he could deceive the elect of God. That is my enemies weapons of warfare looking so much like me they don't appear to be the enemy.

I am praying that God will prepare my heart, my soul, and my spirit for this battle. I am fighting it for HIM.....For His honor....And to bring Him glory.

The Brave Little Tailor

When our daughter auditioned for the play, "The Brave Little Tailor" little did I know it would change me.

A play, a childrens play, little kids reciting words learned, changed me. Through the plot, the courage and bravery of the Little Tailor, but mostly through a little boy. A little boy named Mark Kelly.

Mark Kelly has cancer. I have watched for weeks as he comes into play practice so eager to perform. His body is enduring chemotherapy, he has lost his hair, his skin is peeling, and he has blisters on his body. Lily tells me, "Mom if Mark Kelly has to vomit during the play we act it out like he always disappears."

I have watched this little boy run the race with endurance. No complaints, no negative words, just a little boy excited to play a part.

Mark Kelly has unknowingly taught me how to continue my race on this earth with joy, peace, and contentment.

It is no coincidence that he plays the part of the Brave Little Tailor. The story is one of bravery and courage. The Tailor is commissioned to save the princess from the EVIL giants.

I am currently fighting my own giants. I too am trying to save a little princess from the EVIL giants.

Mark Kelly has given me an example. Through this little boy God has shown me how good will triumph evil. How although he is physically suffering, his body hurting, his spirit is still soaring. He is battling out his faith on this earth. To us, to our human mind his suffering seems like a curse from God. We ask why? Why would God allow a little boy to suffer? I am one of the reasons. Through his suffering I am encouraged. There is a prize for our faith. As we run this race with Christ, He is faithful to help us finish it, and at the end He will crown us.

To you Mark Kelly....Thank you! Thank you for your bravery.....it is unmatched.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET REBEKAH

It has been 15 long months since we slipped these shoes on our princess Rebekah. 

Got all of this paperwork to Haiti to start the process to make her our.......

We are have been devoted to prayer and diligent to pray her home. 

Today she is turning 4.

Without her FAMILY, cake, ice cream, the happy birthday songs, and presents galore. 

This beautiful girl, full of life, personality, giggles, and smiles. 

Is in a faraway land waiting for us to bring her home.

Longing for the Lord to perform the miraculous. Holding tight to the hem of my saviours garment as I rest in His plan for our lives. Longing to hold a girl that when ask in Kreole this Febuary who I was replied, "This is my mama!" The little girl that begged to go with me when I had to leave her behind. Listening as Lily and Sam pray EVERYDAY without fail, "Dear Jesus, Please bring Rebekah home soon."

Decorating a room for her. Picking bedding with a dollhouse and making sure it had a brown girl on it. Bunk Beds, a closet full of clothes, thoughts, and dreams of the added laughter in our house. Another little helper in the kitchen, snuggles, kissing ochies, and making everything ALL better. 

Please help me pray for our birthday girl today! Pray for her safety, pray for a quick homecoming, pray a special birthday blessing for her, and pray for her to know how VERY much she is 

LOVED! 

The Pearl Of GREAT price.

I am currently walking through a vast field of HARD. I can't go into everything my family and I are facing, but you all know about my dad. There is so much more, so complex, so deep, so difficult. I have news though, good news the Lord is with me. He is leading me and He is teaching me what true peace that passes understanding really is. I can say I now know how Paul counted it ALL joy.

God has been speaking to me throughout the day today. He has been bringing His perfect word to my mind. That is why it is so important to hide it in our hearts. He says to me, "I will go before you! I will fight for you! I love you with an everlasting love! I make your paths straight! I will NEVER leave or forsake you!" His word is a healing balm to my soul.

I ask my family to come together in the floor to cry out to the Lord. What I found in my prayer was only praise. Praise for the pearl of GREAT price. "Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. When he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it." Matthew 13:45 My name is written in the Lamb's book of life! I have a treasure hidden that some men can't even understand. This world will always be hard. Bad things will happen to good people. Evil looks as if it will prevail. The kids and I were just studying that fact this morning. I know a secret though found in the word of God. He wins! It is won! It is finished!

Jesus is looking for those who will worship Him in spirit and truth. Truth is light and light is truth. Light dispels the darkness and the darkness can't hide. The truth is He died, rose, and is seated at the right hand of my All Mighty Father making intercession for me. I may struggle, I may hurt, I may feel like my heart is breaking, but God is working in me and through me to accomplish His will.

Standing for truth, standing in belief that I have a pearl that was purchased by the blood of my Saviour. He is worth losing everything for. He says if I'm not willing to leave it all I'm not worthy of Him.

What are you holding on to? What has you bound to this world? What keeps you from looking toward your heavenly inheritance?

I say to you seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added to you. What things? Peace, joy, comfort, peace, joy, comfort, rest, and more peace.

I praise you Jesus for loving me, for sending the Holy Spirit to comfort me, for preparing a kingdom for me, a place of complete rest.

I want to shout HALLELUJAH! Praise you LORD!

Wrestling.....

Wrestling, continuing to wrestle, wrestling with God, with sin, with confusion, with the enemy, with fear, with doubt, wrestling with a world of hurt.

How do we walk through a world filled with sin? A world with broken babies, babies dead at the hand of their own mother, the hungry, the destitute, sin excused.

Jacob wrestled until God blessed him. He wouldn't let go of the ONE who holds the stars. He held on until daybreak, until his answer came, until he was BLESSED.

I wrestle with the will of God. The why? Is that a lack of faith on my part? Maybe. Faith is a gift of God and I need to wrestle in the closet, my prayer closet until I am blessed with faith. Faith to believe that a Holy God is on the throne ruling and reigning now. That no matter what darkness I walk through, how much deception I experience, how much pain that resides in my heart, I will trust HIM.

Wrestle until my soul is content no matter what comes my way. A little girl in a faraway place that needs a FAMILY. A little girl abandoned. Wrestle as the kids here at home pray for her. Wondering why does it take so LONG to rescue a ORPHAN. Wrestle with governments, powers of darkness, the enemy of my soul that doesn't want to see FAMILIES serving the ONE TRUE GOD.

Wrestle as I behold my dad. My strong daddy that is wasting away. Losing 20 pounds since April. Sad that he can't do what he's used to doing. Wrestle that he will one day leave me and go to heaven. Wrestling knowing that my Father in heaven says He will never leave or forsake me.

Wrestling with apathy and complacency. How can I be so dead when my God is living? He died so that I might live! Have an abundant life.

Wrestle with my sin. How can sin so easily beset us? Struggle with this flesh. The slimy pit of sin keeps my feet from walking the path of righteousness. The inside sins of pride, doubt, apathy, selfish ambition.

Fighting the fight of faith. Encouraged by these words this morning as I wrestle, "Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; For I shall yet praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God." Psalms 42:11

Seeking the face of God this morning as I wrestle......

The Swirling Winds Of Change

What do you do as the winds rip and tear, sucking the life, sucking your faith. When you hear, read, and feel the force of words spoken on public sites from people that claim the name Christ in their title of "Christian." Fighting a word war over orphaned children. What happens when you see your dad suffer daily, his body racked with pain from a disease that breaks the bones. When you hear of babies drowning under rubble. My faith shakes, swirls, it breaks, and bends. I cry out this morning, "God forgive me! Forgive me when I doubt, when I allow the enemy to sift me and rattle my soul when the winds rage."

I turn to His word, His infallible truth, the letter He left as a balm to my soul, all the answers are found there. To the weather and destruction I say, "But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything done in it will be laid bare. Since everything will be destroyed in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to live holy and godly lives as you look forward to the day of God and speed its coming. That day will bring about the destruction of the heavens by fire, and the elements will melt in the heat But in keeping with his promise we are looking forward to a new heaven and a new earth, where righteousness dwells." 2 Peter 3:10-13 Heaven is my eternal dwelling place. This material that surrounds me today will be destroyed now or at His coming. I have the promise in His word that after His patience with humanity is played out He will come for me and take me HOME.

To the Christian that is fighting with their brother, picking up and hurling swords over babies orphaned, I say, "Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them." 1 John 2:9-11 Hate should never transcend truth. I believe truth should be spoken and children should be spoken for, but our hearts must remain pure in the process.

To the pain and anguish that attacks and kills our physical bodies I say, "Behold, I tell you a mystery; we will not all sleep, but we will all be changed, in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet; for the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed. For this imperishable, and this mortal must put on immortality. But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on the imperishable, and this mortal will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying that is written, 'Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting?' The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our LORD JESUS CHRIST. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 15:51-58


The promises of God are my strength and my shield in the time of trouble. When the storms rage, the winds blow, the rain pours, I know and I'm persuaded that this trouble is meant to change me. I wrote a blog yesterday titled, "The Calloused Christian." I don't think I will ever post it, it was only meant to show me the condition of my own soul. I was becoming calloused (hardened) to this world. Steeped in self-pity and condemnation I was wallowing in the mire of my own sinfulness. The sin of doubt had taken me captive. As I watched the news and saw the crumpled buildings destroyed by the winds fury, I was changed. When my dad called to tell me his neighbor across the street that we had just seen on Friday being resuscitated died, I was changed. As I sat with my children today and taught them the importance of LOVE over the need for things, I was changed. Winds change us!

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters. If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18

Are you willing to be changed? Will you let the HARD winds rip through your pride, envy, and selfish ambition? Tearing apart your flesh and ripping out your sin. Can we forgive today as if it were our last chance? Repair and restore broken relationships, apply love to open wounds, seek the kingdom and it's riches of mercy. He says if we seek we will find, if we ask it will be given. Will you ask today for the winds of change to rock your world for the sake of HIS kingdom and glory?

I praise the MAKER OF THE STORM for walking with me through it.

This Little Light Of Mine

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Matthew 5: 14-16

The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple. Psalm 119:130

I have been pondering for months now, pondering Christianity. Thinking on things that are high and looking to obtain wisdom from above. I have been walking with Christ for fourteen years now, trudging along on this narrow path. I have been burdened for months now, burdened for the Christian. You see, it seems to me that it has become so mainstream to call yourself a Christian. There are post all over facebook and in the social realm of "Christians." I keep thinking about my children. I want them to have an organic and real relationship with the person of Jesus Christ. I don't just want little "Christians." 

Unfortunately we are living in a time where people are calling evil good and good evil. If you follow the scripture and walk out your faith in complete abandon and obedience you are labeled misguided, legalistic, or strange. If you call sin, sin you are judgemental. As Christians we have a clear revelation from God in His holy word. We don't have to walk blindly wondering how we should live our lives. We walk by faith. 

This woman walked for miles to attend church in Haiti. The little girl below rode her bicycle with her bible on the handlebars.I sat in that church service. There were no lights, no power, complete darkness...except....except for a tiny light at the front of the church. I stood there recognizing the tune of the songs they were singing in creole. We Americans singing in English the Haitians in Creole. I was overwhelmed in the worship. I focused on that tiny light and how it dispelled the darkness. One small light reflecting on the faces, some brown, some black, and some white. All these faces around me lifting up the name of Jesus. Singing in one accord to the ONE true God, the WAY, the TRUTH, and the LIFE. Our voices melded together in praise. That night changed me. 

My mind is so consumed with the thought of the church and the Christian walk. What are we supposed to look like? Our deeds are to reflect our faith, but our deeds do not mean we are faithful. Let me explain. If we are truly in a love relationship with Jesus Christ our lives will look different. Our love for Him will compel us to do....faith in action. There is self imposed religion that is rampant in our society today that equates works with salvation, that is not what the bible says. There is nothing we can do to earn salvation, it is a gift straight from God. But the bible also says that faith without works is dead. We as Christians should know the word, know the giver of the word, and know what we are supposed to be doing. We are all called, we are all gifted, we are all equipped at salvation. I believe it is high time we stopped drinking the milk of the word of God and desired a great big steak. Be learners of the word so you know what is acceptable to the Lord. 

This cathedral was destroyed by the earthquake that shook Haiti in 2010. Beautiful, whitewashed stone,  an architectural masterpiece, shaken, fallen, broken, collapsed. Churches built with bricks and mortar, high ceilings, stained glass windows, carpet, and soft pews, that's not what God desires. He desires to take our hearts of stone, this temple of flesh, and make the church. We as a body of believers should be coming together, knitted together, serving, edifying, and discipling one another. We shouldn't be tearing one another down. "If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." Galatians 5:15 

The world IS watching, they are watching to see if what you say lines up with what you do. Are you loving like Christ? Look at the little naked boy. Are you feeding him? He's very hungry. That's his mommy holding his hand. Are you willing to help her? Those little boys holding hands, one white, one black. Are you racist? Do you think because someone has a different pigment in their skin they are less than you? Are you helping them? 

LOVE......it is what compelled God to send His only son Jesus. Jesus left glory, perfection, and came, lived, walked this earth, He showed us great compassion and mercy. He took up your sin and LOVED you! Love is an action, love is a Christian, love is the Church. Let's love like him today. Be a true reflection of His grace and mercy. Don't just call yourself a Christian act like one! Be a light of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Shine God's perfect love into this dying world. People are getting so calloused to sin, we see it everyday. Abortion is right, having a large family is wrong, seeking worldly wisdom is good, seeking the wisdom of God is evil, homosexuality is okay, saying it's not isn't. Wake up oh man and woman of God! Light your candle and shine..........

Breath Of Heaven

I sat there at my daddy's bedside, I sat and I watched the heaving in his chest. Up and down, up and down, struggling for air. The doctor's baffled not knowing what was happening in his body. Rushing, spinning, the room, my heart. After surgery we were called in to visit. There lay my strong daddy, the man that used to lift me over his head, with a tube breathing for him. I had to stay strong for those around me, but after I found a room and I collapsed. I cried, I cried out to the Lord, I ask Him to please let me have my daddy a little longer. Selfish, I know. I want my kids to know how blessed they are to have such a wonderful Papaw, I want Rebekah to meet him, I want to have more time with him. We went to a hotel close by since he was so critical and again I found a place. I sank down in the bathtub on my face before God, begging.

My daddy is coming home today, not going home to his eternal home, but home. This situation has drained me physically, spiritually, and emotionally, but it has me thinking too. I have been pondering heaven. A place of complete peace and rest. To be absent from this body is to be present with the Lord. It's so hard to find Him here sometimes. There are principalities and powers of darkness waging a war for our souls, for our affections, for our trust. I couldn't feel His presence even though I knew He was there. There was no emotional experience. Having His word in my heart is what held me. Knowing what He says and knowing it is true. This is not our home. We are pilgrims here. There is a place that awaits those of us that belong to Yahweh. He says in His word that He is preparing that place just for us. When we remain earthly minded we forget the heavenly realm. Ministering spirits sent to aid us in this world, perfect light, perfect love, perfect peace. Jesus Christ forever!

This life is so hard, babies dying every day, sick loved ones, pain, poverty, orphans, bombings, hate, death. We have hope in the eternal, a new body, consuming beauty, loved ones that have died in Christ, the cloud of witnesses that have watched our story unfold. I can't imagine not having hope in heaven through Jesus, struggling through this time here, this vapor of a life with no hope. How do those of you without Christ cope?

Lord, what is man, that you take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that You are mindful of him? Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow. Psalms 144:4-5

Junk Drawers

God gives us the strength to live godly.

Titus 2:11-15

11. For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12. It teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in this present age, 13. While we wait for the blessed hope--- the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14. who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. 15. These, then, are the things you should teach. Encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

This lesson started with me and 7 junk drawers. 7!!!! I had 7 drawers filled with mostly junk, stuffed away, hidden from sight, and in cleaning them God started cleaning me. I have a hard time with biblical submission. I wasn't raised to submit. I was raised like most women in our culture to be self-sufficient, strong, and fight for my rights. So when God started showing me and teaching me that I have a very stubborn heart the heat was on. I was broken by the 7 drawers. I saw the junk in my own heart that needed to be cleaned and purged out. So I pray the same for you! I pray that you will take this lesson and apply it to your heart, those secret places that are hidden away for no one to see.

To have a clean heart we first MUST be saved! The key to living a godly life is to be converted and filled with the Holy Spirit. Apart from Him we can do nothing.

So examine yourself and ask God to reveal the condition of your heart. This is for everyone, the Sunday School teacher, the ones of you that made a profession of faith at a young age, you that prayed a prayer, everyone needs to examine their heart. If you are converted there are things that we all need to be delivered and set free from. Women carry a lot of baggage and stuff a lot of junk. Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit and God's word to teach us.

Look at verse 12--- Gods grace teaches us to say "no" to ungodliness and worldly passions.

I love the word "teaches" in this verse. It says to me that it is a process that is not yet complete. We are continually being taught to say no to our flesh and to live a self controlled life.

Let's look up at verse 10. Here Paul is telling Titus to teach slaves how to obey their masters (WE ARE BACK AT SUBMISSION). Read verse 10 "They will make the teaching about God our Savior attractive." !!!!!

Are we making the teaching we do about God attractive through our lives? Can we be trusted with the holy word of God?

What are areas you lack self-control? Write them down.

What secret sin do you need to clean out of your junk drawers? Write it down.

What are some worldly-passions we lust after? Read Titus 3:3 List some worldly passions.

We should live godly in this present age. Our present age is defined by social media, texting, entertainment. We have a lot of temptations to fight against in order to live godly. We shouldn't look like the world. If we are watching what they watch, wearing what they wear, listening to what they listen to, are we living godly? Can they see a difference?

This brings us back to submission to Gods authority. He created us for good works. He has equipped us beforehand to live upright, godly, and self-controlled lives.

Verse 13--- We live this way while we wait for our blessed hope to return. We live with GREAT expectation of the life to come. When our obedience is full-filled and we are with Christ forever. He is coming for His people a pure people. Verse 14--- a purified bride.

The end of Verse 14 says: "We're eager to do good."

Are you eager to do good? It is not always the easiest thing to do, but we should want to do good.


Homework

Clean and organize a space in your house, a drawer, a room, a closet, etc. As you are cleaning ask God to reveal any area in your life that is junkie. Ask Him to purify you and help you in this area. We all need help. There is none perfect except Christ. Open the drawers of your heart today and let God cleanse you!

Housekeeping

Submission in the Greek is Hupotasso- A Voluntary placement of oneself under the authority and leadership of another.

We are going to peer into this idea, seek it out, and ask God to help us learn the reason for our submission and the blessing that will come when we submit.


Goals for our 4 week study

• Learn God's idea for women
• Clean our junk drawers
• Learn how to serve and why
• Learn the gift of hospitality

All through biblical submission. 

Week 1- God's idea for Women

Let's start at the beginning in Genesis 2:15-18 (Please Read)

The man Adam was the first created human to dwell on the earth. God commissioned him to work and tend the garden that God had made for him. He issued the first command to man in verse 17 when he told Adam not to eat of the fruit. 

So we start out with man, Adam, he is in submission to God. God gave him very specific instructions on how to live, what is expected of him, and what he is not allowed to do. 

God gave Adam a choice to submit to His power and authority. God did not lock the tree up or put a wall around it. He said, "I set before you life or death, choose life." 

1.) Submission gives life

Then we see in verse 18 that God saw it wasn't good for man to be alone. There are many ways God could have chosen to form Eve. The animals came forth and Adam was made from the dust of the earth. He chose however to take her from man. 

Read verses 18-23

I find the next verse very interesting. Verse 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. God took Eve from Adam then He states that they are to leave their father and mother and become one flesh. Let's dissect the term one flesh. 

Read Matthew 19:4-6

The becoming of one flesh means physical through sex, spiritual the covenant before God, and social the picture of Christ and the Church before men. 

Lebasar-(Hebrew for flesh)- It describes the entire human nature. So with marriage we have the father and the mother giving their children in marriage. The headship of the parent's in the marriage relationship transfers to the husband. The couple leave their father and mother and cleave to each other. There is something to be said of the family participating in the paring of two people. (that's another lesson on the importance of courtship rather than casual dating.)

I think in order to understand the importance of biblical submission we must understand the importance of the marital relationship. 

#2 Submission was God's original design. 

What is the wife's role? 

Let's take a look back at the first wife Eve. She was created to help her husband. What are ways you think she helped her husband? List them. 

She was also created to submit to her husband as the leader that God placed over her. She was the weaker vessel and needed direction. God is a God of order and design. He created the order of the universe: God, Man, Woman, animals. Man was the head of the woman from the beginning. 

What does God require form us as wives? Read Ephesians 5:22-24, 33

The word respect  in verse 33 is the Greek word Phobetai- it literally mans "fear". It can refer to the fear we have toward God. A reverence and respect. 

If we look at our role as wives in relation to the church and Jesus it may put things into perspective. If the church is the bride of Christ and He is her husband we can see the love, fear, respect, and reverence the church has for Christ. That is what we are to imitate. 

#3 Submission shows the world Jesus!

Submission goes against our sinful nature. In Genesis after the fall God told Eve she would desire her husband. This means she would desire to Lord over him. We by nature want to control our husbands. We nag, we boss, we pout, we stomp, we want our own way. And our husbands by nature let us do it. So when you see a godly woman that truly has a converted heart the seeks after God submitting to her husband it shows the world and us a picture of Christ. This is why the enemy is seeking to destroy the marriage. 

HOMEWORK!

1.) PRAY! Pray for God to open your heart to submission. Ask for God to show you areas in your heart that you don't want to give up. 

2.) Speak kindly to your husband! Even if he is irritating you or being ugly to you. 

3.) Submit your body to your husband. Push pass NO! Become one this week in the flesh. 

Reflections of Grace

The past six months have been life changing for me. The purging, cleansing of this temple. This temple not made by human hands....but by God. My body fashioned before the foundation of the world to serve and praise the one who formed me. I have faced myself in the mirror and ask, "does my reflection mirror His?" What is it like to be poured out like a drink offering? No religious cliches or verses of the day posted on facebook, but a life that is poured out for Him. Not a saying of the word, but a doing. We can all quote the word. The Pharisees did that and they were called a brood of vipers. satan himself knows the word. What is doing the word? I've struggled with that. I've seen how easy it is to go and serve with wrong motives. Not motives that are unholy, just wrong.


I love missions and I have a heart to serve around the world. I will go wherever God calls me. What I have found in the last six months is I'm right where I'm supposed to be. It started with SEVEN
junk drawers. I had seven drawers full of junk, trash, things I had been holding onto for one reason or another. As I started to clean the drawers I started to see my life as God sees it. He sees the innermost parts of my heart the parts that need cleaning. He began to surface my junk, my unsubmissive heart, my quick temper, the anger that raises it's head so quickly, I saw myself in the mirror. "As water reflects the face, so one's life reflects' the heart." Proverbs 27:19 I saw my calling as a mother and how great it is. I realized how I had been comparing my home to the "perfect home-schooling mom's" home posted on her blog. I saw how defeated I had become in my home.

Then the most BEAUTIFUL thing happened on January 19, 2013! The fruit from the seeds planted!

My First Born was washed in the blood of the Lamb!

Filled with the Holy Spirit!

God's workmanship....His masterpiece...created to serve Him!

The monotonous days of school work, bible study, cleaning, cleaning again, changing dirty diapers, wiping snotty noses. Living out, repenting, asking for forgiveness, following, THEY see! 

We are cleansed from all our sin to follow Him and serve Him. It may be in a nation far away, it may be in your church, but mostly it is to those around you. Loving Jesus in spite of your circumstance, keeping your motives in check, following Christ out of a relationship with Him. Not for the sake of "doing" but for the sake of Christ. Have you looked into your junk drawers? I encourage you today to take a break from mindless internet surfing, comparing, and saying. Take a moment to see your reflection, see your life, and you will see your heart.