Building A Nest

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. Psalm 91:4


My Mother's Day gift arrived today and it is so fitting.

Have you ever watched a mama bird build it's nest? She takes such great care in gathering every twig and placing it in just the right place. She plucks out her feathers to line the nest. Birds make their nest with love and tenderness.

Yesterday the Lord revealed to me that the enemy was trying to pluck one of the little ones from my nest.

A hawk landed in our yard with a tiny, baby blue-jay in his grasp. There was much commotion outside by the family of blue-jays the baby was taken from. They were swooping down, squawking in a furious tizzy to save their baby. The baby unfortunately didn't make. The hawk's strong jaws had pierced his little neck and he died.

One of mine. One of my little birds has been struggling. The enemy is trying to steal my baby's tender heart. I have known for a while and noticed my baby's affection starting to wane. Those eyes, they had lost their sparkle.

I could turn my head, I could act like it's okay, I could deny the fact my baby's tender heart is being darkened by sin, but I can't. I can't allow the prowler, the prince of the air, satan to get to my baby bird. So I prayed diligently for the Lord to show me how to handle this situation. I confronted it. I started swooping, squawking, and I became furious that satan would try to steal one of mine. The sin of rebellion was deep in my bird's heart. The confession, "I roll my eyes every time you and dad tell me to do something."

satan wants nothing more than to destroy our family because the family is a picture of the church. The husband a picture of Jesus as the head of the church, the wife a picture of the bride of Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23 Our modern churches are slowing destroying the family and the God ordained authority of the family. Instead of training the husbands to be the head and teaching them how to lead, instead of teaching the wives to submit to their husbands as their head, instead of allowing the husband to teach their family. The wives are sitting under the authority of  their Sunday School teacher, (that may teach something that is contradicting their husband), and our children, our precious responsibility is given to a youth minister. We have given over so much of the child training to someone else.  Not only to the church, but we expect teachers and the media to raise our children. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

We have to guard our nest. We have to trust God to lead our families. We have to abide under the shadow of His wings and train our children to follow Him. We have to protect our children from the Fowler that is seeking to kill our children. satan wants to keep us bound in our own sinfulness and selfishness. satan wants us to turn our head so he can steal our children.

My babies all five of them are precious in the sight of the Lord. He has entrusted me and Jeremy to raise them for His glory. I pray that I would be diligent to teach my children when they are home in my care. I pray for my husband that he would continue to lead us in the ways of the Lord. I pray that I would learn to submit and honor my husband. I praise the Lord for the gift of home-schooling my children. I praise the Lord for my baby birds, for their personalities, for their strengths, and their weaknesses. I pray that the Lord will build up our nest.....unless He builds it....it's built in vain.


But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them. Psalm 103:17-18

Eli's 22 months!!!

Eli is 22 months old and almost home 7 months! Wow, time is flying by! We are loving every moment of raising him. Not that there aren't challenges because there are, but he is so perfect for our family. I'm amazed how the Lord brought him specifically into our family.

He is such a good boy. He only fusses if he's hungry, tired, or you take something away from him. He's pretty stubborn if he is determined to do something. His vocabulary is growing everyday. He says, "nana, poppy, papaw, more, he tries to say thank you, he says go, outside, cow, moo, bah, makes the "p" sound trying to say pretty, and he jabbers all the time. I love how now we are to a point where it seems like he's always been here.

Mother's day was so sweet because of our boy. I'm so thankful to his birth-mommy for carrying him and choosing life for him, and for his sweet Umma that cared for him in Korea.

I'm beyond blessed by his life. I can't wait to see what our family looks like this time next year!

The Beautiful Ugly

I have sat down multiple times to write a feel good blog, full of love, an exciting story of adoption, but that's not the story. I have to tell the true story, the hard story, the beautifully ugly story.

Brave, courageous, big heart, good people, loving people, these are the words and comments we have heard for the last couple of months. It's not true we're not, we're not good, we're not perfect, we're not brave, and we are most certainty not courageous. We are flawed, broken, human, sinful, and terrified. We are scared of this process, it hurts, it breaks, it challenges our faith. We are only obedient.

Adoption is founded in faith. Our spiritual adoption and the adoption of orphaned children is only through a faith in God. We traveled to Haiti relying on God to choose the children He would have in our home. I chose three and Jeremy said one. We arrived and two of the three I had in my mind as ours were matched with their forever family. Our Sovereign God had that planned from the foundation of this world. The Holy Spirit slammed shut the door I had intended to open. I rejoiced with the family, but I feared we wouldn't be matched at all. Yes, I fear! But God in His perfect wisdom knew we wouldn't have considered a 4 year old little boy. In our flesh and implanted in our mind was a fear of adopting out of birth order, adopting a boy, adopting a boy that's bigger than Sam. So here we were in the ugliness of our flesh with fear and trepidation, and there he was the beautiful. That beautiful boy with the contagious smile, infectious laugh, deep insightful eyes, waiting to be loved, to be held, to be kissed, to be hugged. Out of the ugly our Lord gave us a son. A son is now going to be given an inheritance from us, his family.

Then there was the girl. That beautifully perfect, girl! The princess awaiting her prince to lift her over his head and call her daughter. That dimple in her right check that makes my heart melt. She needs a daddy to tell her she's special, that she is loved, that she is worthy.

I sat at the breakfast table with Willy on my left, and Rebecca on my right and I started to weep. I looked at the ocean, the beauty that God spoke into existence,  I looked into the eyes of a broken boy, who has a story, and the eyes of a girl that's too young to know her story. I see the beauty in front of me and then I remember the ugly. The ugliness of the poverty one mile down the street, the ugliness of our sin, the ugliness of our doubt, the ugliness that brought us to Haiti for these children. My Father God is turning all of that ugliness into beauty. We are all groaning for the beautiful! At that moment Willy became Stephen Roy. Stephen means crown and Roy means King. Rebecca became Rebekah (after my sister that was murdered) Anne meaning full of grace. They have a new name just like me. When I answered the call of Jesus, when I offered up my life, and bowed to Him as my Lord, I became new. A new creature with a new name just like our children.

Adoption is hard. I'm mourning the children we held, kissed, and hugged. I mourn because I know Stephen doesn't understand that we are coming back, that we are his mommy and daddy. That no matter what anyone says he is ours and we love him. Rebekah is so little she doesn't know that she has a sister that can't wait to braid her hair, play baby dolls, and tell all of her secrets to. They don't know that every night Sam prays, "thank you God for my brother Stephen, thank you God for my sister Rebekah." They don't know that my heart yearns to gently rub their beautiful, soft skin, that this process can take two long years, and that they are going to grow and change and I'm going to miss it.

There are so many questions. Will they adjust? Will they get along with the other kids? Will we have room? Can we afford 5 kids? There are so many excuses we can make not to answer the call of God, and it won't be roses and rainbows. The kids will fight, the house will be extra messy, I will mess up everyday, our house will seem small in size, we will have to budget our money, but that's what the gospel is. It is dying to our desires, our wants, our flesh, and following in the footsteps of Jesus. It's not about sleep, feeling good about ourselves, looking good on the outside to the world, it's about radiating the love of Christ.

Becoming beautiful........that's what adoption is.......

The Shoe's Fit!!!!

Princess Rebekah has found her forever family!!!!

Our love story coming soon........