Family

I asked Lily to set the table tonight and she made these place-cards on her own. I looked and I noticed, FAMILY. We are a family. A mommy, a daddy, a sister, and two brothers. Our family dynamic is about to change as we accept the Lord's plan for our lives. Our family is going to be many shades of brown, and our children will be like olive plants around our table. "In the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around you table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." Psalm 128:3-4 Through birth, adoption, brought forth from many nations, and races God is building our family. 

I have no desire for wealth, fame, nice clothes, or fine things. I only desire that my children serve the Lord. My prayer is for our family to be a beacon on a hill, a light in the darkness, an encouragement to the weak, and a witness of the love of Jesus Christ. 

FAMILY

Blessed Are The Pure

All fear is but the notion that God's love ends. Do you think I end, that My bread warehouses are limited, that I will not be enough? But I am infinite, child. What can end in Me? Can life end in Me? Can happiness? Or peace? Or anything you need? Doesn't your Father always give you what you need? I am the Bread of Life and My bread for you will never end. Fear thinks God is finite and fear believes that there is not going to be enough and hasn't' counting one thousand gifts, endlessly counting gifts, exposed the lie at the heart of all fear? In Me, blessings never end because My love for you never ends. If My goodnesses toward you end, I will cease to exist, child. As long as there is a God in heaven, there is grace on earth and I am the spilling God of the uncontainable, forever-overflowing-love-grace. Ann Voskamp

Fear has ruled me, captured me, contained me, stifled me, stopped me, crippled me, bound me, and held me captive to a lie.

We are all weak in the flesh, struggling to make it day to day, bound in this life when we fear. We all do it, we all forget who our God is. The scars keep us locked up in ourselves, our self-pity, self-doubt, even to the point of self-loathing. Our past reckons with us, reminds us how weak we really are. I have deep wounds that cause anxiety to rise up within me. I want to control and I can't release my tight grip on myself and my life. Control comes from a life of being controlled by the wrong thing. Controlled by ungodly men, beaten down, and controlled by my sin.

How can I do this? How knowing what I know continue to fear? Hasn't He delivered me? Don't I believe?

He tells me in His word to me not to be shaken: Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

The God of the universe that shakes nations, that holds our breath in His hands tells me not to be moved, not to be shaken. Fear not or be not dismayed for He will go with me wherever I go....that's what He promises me. Not to even worry about food or clothing, because doesn't He even clothe the lilies of the field. His love for me is infinite, it is TRUE love, it is love so strong, so real that He sent His son to bleed out His blood to cover me.

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, DO NOT FEAR! I will help you.  

How can I the one who was formed say to the one who formed me WHY?

I have too much, too many blessings, too many reasons to praise my Maker, to stand in awe of Him, my consuming fire.

I'm going to list them lest I forget. I'm going to live in the light. I'm going to SEE His goodness in everything. I'm going to live PURE in heart with no fear, doubt, worry, or anxiety.

Will it be hard to die to this flesh? Will it be hard to return to Eden to the promise He has made to keep me and love me forever? YES, it will be hard, but with God ALL things are possible.

He inhabits the praise of His people. He will come and dwell with me in the PRAISE. Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise the fruit of lips that openly profess His name. Hebrews 13:15


I praise and thank you Jesus for:

Big brown eyes....

Long, delicious eyelashes...

Clover for bees....

Sweet Asian eyes...

A baby not formed in my womb, not conceived in my marital bed, but is a gift from God just the same...

Art Work....

Honeysuckles...

Trails that lead to hidden treasure...

Drinking sweet nectar....

Being hidden in the shadow of the Almighty...

It is all His good and perfect gifts to me His child.......

Joy In Picture's

Written on our chalkboard by my Lily is the scripture: "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God"

I've pondered this verse all week, then this morning during my quite time after reading my Bible I picked up Ann Voskamp's book and read, "I know how monstrously inhumane I can be. Raging at children for minor wrongdoings while I'm the one defiling the moment with sinful anger. Hoarding possessions while others die of starvation. Entertaining the mind with trivial pretties when I haven't bowed the head and heart in a prayer longer than five minutes in a week. My tongue has had a razor edge and my eyes have rolled haughty and my neck has been stiff and graceless and I have lived the filth ugly, an idolater, a glutton, and a grace thief who hasn't had time for the thanks. I wrap the hem of my splattered apron around a finger. I cannot raise the eye. We've read it around the table at the close of the meal, us all with Bibles open, and we've read the verse with one voice: "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God" (Matthew 5:8)." 

I burst into tears. There is was again that verse: "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall SEE God."

How do we see God? We have to look!

Thank you Jesus for birthday candle's and a sweet 4 year old to blow them out....

For parties and friends....

For Pa-paw's and fat bellies...

For gifts..... 

For uncle's that throw you up high and make you  giggle...

For belly laughs... 

For cousins that love you like crazy....and are friends for life...

For backyard games.... 

For sweets to eat....

For the simple faith of a child.... 

For our paperwork ready to send and the perseverance to get it done.....

Grief

I'm starting this blog, in all honesty with no words, just thoughts.

Why did a little boy that was so close to having a family die? He died today at 5:10pm in Haiti, a sweet boy I've never met, but have prayed fervently for. He has a sister, a beautiful sister, a birth-father, and adoptive parent's that were really close to bringing him home. He had a brain aneurysm and died.

It is so easy to speak of the mighty hand and sovereignty of God when my children are tucked in their beds, safe, whole, well. But how would I deal with this situation if it was one of the children God gave me? In my super spiritual thought's, I would like to think I would praise God anyway. But would I? Would I praise Him if it were my Lily, my Sam, or my Eli?

In my walk with the Lord I have suffered. I have suffered deep pain and loss. My sister was murdered, I came from a very broken family (it is restored now), I have gone through a divorce, there are more things, hard things I would never speak of here, but I have never lost a child. What would I do? How would I cope?

Death is a horrible thing, it is the most horrible consequence of sin, but God. But God sent His son Jesus to take the sting of death away. We have a hope and a promise. I want to rest in that, I really do. I want to be so in love with Jesus, so indwelt with the Holy Spirit, so on fire for Christ, that I can make it through the horrible. I want to be like Paul that joyed in his tribulation.

I'm sad....I'm really sad, but Jesus understands our sadness, He understands our pain, He bore our grief, and He is acquainted with all of our ways. We however, don't always understand His ways, but I do know that His ways are perfect. There is a plan for this family and Jesus will bring it to pass.

To God be the Glory!!!!

My Gift's

I'm reading a book written by Ann Voskamp, "One Thousand Gifts." It is really opening my eyes to the true meaning of thanks. Since reading her book the word thanks and thanksgiving has stuck out on the pages of scripture as if I had never read the book before. I have noticed anew that Jesus thanked God in and for everything. In Matthew just before He was to be slaughtered on the cross for us He took the bread and gave thanks. Knowing what was to come, right before entering the garden to agonize with His Father to allow the cup to pass from Him, He took the bread and gave thanks.

In her book Ann Voskamp describes how through thanks the Lord brought her true joy. That is what we all long for joy...joy in pain, joy in circumstances beyond our control, joy in tribulation, persecution, and even in death.

My desire is to live fully in the grace that the Lord of heaven has so graciously bestowed on me. He bought me with a price and delivered my soul from eternal condemnation. He is a living, breathing, awe inspiring God that loves me in spite of myself. So what can I do? I will give Thanks!!!!

Thanks for the shoes worn on my sons feet belonging to his daddy...thankful for godly shoes to fill.

Thanks for free bunk beds my children are nestled down in.......They're finally out of my bed!!!!

Thankful for forgiveness...the gift to grant it and the gift to receive it.

Thankful for birthday party's....my son is turning 4...another thanks for 4 precious years with him...

Thankful for best-friends that I can confide in and discuss the deep things of God with.

Thankful for Nutella Hazelnut spread...on sale 3 for a dollar this week....

I'm going to try and unlock this mystery of joy in thankfulness. I'm going to be purposeful in my thanks to the Lord even for the blessing that seem menial to our human eyes. All good and perfect gift's come from the Father of light's. ALL gift's!!!!

Thank you Father for ALL the gift's you give your children, great or small you are the giver of ALL!!!

No Greater Joy Mom: because this life matters!

No Greater Joy Mom: because this life matters!:   I have sat typing and deleting this post for hours.  Sometimes the right words, those which adequately express what is in our hearts, ...

To Egg Or Not to Egg

They jump, they spin, they play innocently, dreaming, and imagining........

Her dream to be a princess.....Him a pirate.......

She sits down with a sparkle in her eye describing what her dress will look like....

I watch through the kitchen window as she guides her hand across her chest showing her brother how her dress will look.....Him not paying much attention.....He's a pirate....

I watch and I cry.....I think about how sweetly they play...no worries, no fear, just simple play....

That's when it hit me...why I have lost joy in simplicity...

We stop as adults...we stop playing...we stop imagining...we stop dancing...we stop enjoying

We start....we start worrying...fearing....doubting.....being distracted...

We got the eggs out tonight...The Resurrection Eggs....

Jeremy allowed the kids to pick one and open it.....inside is the story....the story of our precious Christ...

I thought about it again....JOY....Simple JOY.....

It's not about the eggs...the dress....the church....the service......It's all about HIM.....my JOY....

We as adults get caught up and distracted by the "fun stuff of Easter" and wonder if it is a distraction from the real meaning of Easter. 

I realized this Easter weekend that as long as my eyes are on the eggs....the dress, the church, the service.....they're not on HIM. 

I'm going to freely enjoy watching my kids run around on freshly cut grass, searching frantically for eggs tomorrow knowing that the "egg" doesn't take anything away from my Savior. 

I can run, play, imagine, dance, skip, and have JOY in my Lord this Easter........

Praise and Adoration to my Jesus...the ONE who died that I may serve and praise HIM everyday........

"Stricken, Smitten, and Afflicted"

THE CROSS

Cross- A structure consisting of an upright post with a cross beam, used as an instrument of death; the means by which atonement was made between God and humanity.


The Cross.....it is was what spoke to me this morning through the pages of His word. The cross that Simon was forced to carry is an example of our cross. We are to take up our cross and follow Him. If we do not take up our cross we are not worthy of Him. Matthew 10:38