A Baby Named "B"

We have had the awesome privilege of having a newborn baby in our home for 3 days. I will keep the details of why private to protect her story.

How do you fall madly in love with a 6 pound little girl? I had no intentions to do so, but I have. A perfect little reflection of our Creators masterwork. She IS a masterpiece. Painted perfectly in the image of Christ. I brought her home on Saturday, beaming and glowing like a new mom, busting inside to show the world this girl.

I will be taking her to her permanent mommy and daddy tomorrow. I thought this would be easy, that I wouldn't fall so in love, that my heart could take it. I was so wrong.

We have all taken her in, her smell, her sounds, her little smile she smiles in her sleep. The kids have held her as much as humanly possible. Lily took her time and chose the perfect blanket for her to have for always. Sam and Eli helped me pick the perfect outfits. Sam, "Mommy look at this one! Isn't it CUUUUTE...." Eli, "Lap, mama, lap, baby, lap, mama." They have fallen hard. And my husband.......? Let's just say he is smitten.

My heart is broken today at the thought of her leaving. I have wondered why so many doors have closed for us. After loosing Rebekah there is an emptiness here that I have been anticipating God to fill. I keep waiting for Him to bless us with another child. I love children. This baby has made me realize just how much. Her 3 days here have made me see Eli through new eyes. So grateful all over again for the miracle of his adoption. I cherish the two God so graciously wrought in my womb.

This girl, this bundle of JOY, this blessing, special, formed, created, to be in a FAMILY. She has made me see anew my own obedience and faith. When we are called to Christ we have an idea that Christianity is easy. It is church, fellowship, some witnessing mixed in there too. But it is so much more. With each child that I have had to let go of a piece of my heart goes with them. I thought to myself tonight as I held "B", "Isn't this CHIRSTianity?" Through loss and pain we start to look more like Jesus, the GOD man. He took on this flesh with all of its hurts and pain. The suffering He bore for us.

God is using the perfect innocence of children to chip away at my humanity, teaching me, and growing me up in my faith. One day to be perfect when His sanctification has been perfected in me.

I keep praying that He would see fit to give us another child. If He doesn't I will continue to love and pray for the ones that He places in my path.

To "B": You are special, you are sweet, you are a fearfully and wonderfully made creation. I thank God for you little one. I pray that you will grow up to serve your DADDY God. He loves you so!