It is time for my blog to come to a close. It was started with visions of a sweet baby from Haiti, and my how things have changed. I cannot walk away from this journal without documenting the faithfulness of Jesus and His never-ending love for me. I also want to acknowledge some of the people that have been with me throughout this journey.
Our testimony is one of miracles, hard roads, fear, love, submission, belief, unbelief, and mostly trudging in the flesh while trying to walk in the spirit. In 2008 as most of you know Jeremy and I chose to permanently close my womb. In 2009 we were convicted of doing so and scheduled an appointment to correct our wrong. God, however, had another plan for our family.....adoption. In 2010 a little boy would be born across the ocean in Korea. We would bring him home to our family in 15 months. In 2012 we would begin the process again, this time from Haiti. After horrific events we found that we were involved in a scam. You can read here: www.speakoutaboutgivinghoperescuemission.blogspot.com Coming home from Haiti in October of 2013 I was so broken, so deflated, torn, grieving the loss of our daughter. I was in a dark place full of doubt. In November after much prayer and preparation Jeremy flew to Oklahoma and had our wrong corrected. We felt that it was time, although, I am 40 and the odds of us conceiving a child were low.
For 16 months I struggled with desiring a child. God was allowing me to experience what having a barren womb was. I was acquainted with many women in the bible, begging God for a child. I could not trust, rest, understand why so many doors closed. We love children and have come to see each one as a blessing from the hand of God. During this time I had many women that I confided in. The women that walked with me through the mess in Haiti, my closest friends, and some women that are internet friends that I don't even know. These women, their love, their support, and mostly prayers helped me during this time. Frankly, I don't know how I would have made it the past 3 years without them. I was having a hard time submitting to God in this and understanding his will for our family.
I finally gave up on Jeremy and I conceiving a child and came to believe that we were simply to obey. So, on March 16 we mailed off our application to adopt from China. I was so excited! I had been constantly pouring over the waiting list. God was finally answering my prayers. Jeremy had conceded after saying he couldn't go through another adoption. The prayers and struggle was unseen. I had been battling with what to do, what route to go (domestic/international), or to simply give up. God had different plans for us, but I was impatient. On March 19, 2015, 3 days after we mailed our application in we found out we are PREGNANT!
I had my first doctor's appointment this past Monday. We watched in awe as our little miracle bounced around on the screen.
I have deleted my Facebook account and after today will not be blogging. I feel this time in our lives is sacred, holy, precious, and private. I want to ponder every moment in my heart and praise Jesus in the quite of the day for the gift of life that grows in my womb.
I am sharing this testimony in praise to God. I want every person that reads this to know that God is ultimately in control. He knows the next moment, the next trial, the next blessing, the eternal path that we are on. He is my life and my LOVE. I am so thankful for the people that He has placed in my path, the ones that have sown into my life, to YOU.....thank you!
Each patch that has been stitched onto our family quilt has been needful. Everything our family has walked through and will walk through is for our good. We are slowly being conformed into the image of Christ, and all of this, ALL of it is HIS will, and is for a purpose.
Goodbye readers.......be blessed and rejoice in the Lord....again I say rejoice!
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