Put Your Binoculars On Folks!

I was doing a Bible study with the kids this morning and the text was from Matthew 14:22-32. It is the story of Jesus walking on water and Peter going out to meet him. I ask the question, "Tell me a way we can keep our eyes on Jesus." Sam responded, "We can use binoculars." Out of the mouths of babes!

I have so many friends that are stepping out on the crashing waves only to find themselves sinking. This got me to thinking, "Why do we sink when we are walking toward our Lord?" We take our eyes off of Him. This life will bring heartache and despair, but if we are in the Lord He promises to keep us. He looked directly at Peter when he was sinking and said, "You of little faith. Why did you doubt?" When we are sinking in the storm we need to put our spiritual binoculars on and SEE that our story is already written. The God of heaven has a plan that cannot be changed by our current circumstances. We have His promises written in the Bible and we see His salvation throughout His holy word.


And Moses said to the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand still, and SEE the salvation of the Lord, which He will accomplish for you today. Exodus 14:13

Grace on the days you're feeling graceless.....

Opening the mailbox to find the most beautiful gift inside......

Tears falling down, down, down, the ones that have been restrained all day. Tears that have needed to fall from sadness locked up inside a heart that is full of worry, but they fall from joy, the joy that comes when the eyes behold the beauty of a daughter far away.....

Birthday parties celebrating the girl, the sweet girl with the big heart, the brave one that LOVES BIG...

A family that is BLESSED, part of it far away, but will be home soon. In our arms, a house full of love even in the graceless days....

Intimate Fellowship With Our Creator

Like believers in Bible times, all Christians are called to walk in obedience, truth, and godliness. Of course, everything in society fights that effort. Secular culture is only getting worse, and the church, in many cases, has grown weak and shallow. The temptation to compromise and sin is immense and relentless. But as in the days of Enoch and Noah, God is watching for those who will faithfully walk with Him. As 2 Chronicles 16:9 reminds us, "The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those whose heart is loyal to Him." The actions of godly men and women are not determined by peer pressure or popular opinion. Rather, they arise from deep personal character and conviction---the kind forged over years of walking with the Lord in fellowship, truth, and obedience.----Twelve Unlikely Heroes, John MacArthur




Enoch a man that was, and was taken. Enoch walked with God, he loved God, and he was righteous. He was so close to God that he didn't experience death. Wow! How awesome would it be to be taken directly into the presence of our Holy God without having to face the sting of death? 

He walked with God. What does that mean to walk with Him? Let's look back to Genesis 3:8 Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as He was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. God walked on this earth with Adam and Eve. They experienced intimate, close, fellowship with the Holy One. Can we like Enoch, Adam, and Eve walk with God? I believe, yes, we can. 

Before Jesus left the earth while He was eating with the disciples, He explained to them that He must go away, but He would send the Spirit of Truth. The Holy Spirit was left to be our Comforter, Encourager, and Advocate. John 14:16 Explains: "That the world cannot accept Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him." It goes on to say, "But you now Him. for He lives with you and will be in you." Verses 18-27 "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them." Then Judas said, "But, Lord, why do you intend to show yourself to us and not to the world? Jesus replied, "Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me. All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." 

This sounds very intimate to me. We are inhabited by the Holy Spirit which is the third person of the trinity. He teaches us, exhorts us, reminds us. He reminds us of the teaching of Jesus Christ, and Jesus Himself said if we love Him we will keep His commands. In John 15 Jesus teaches about the Vine and the Branches. He says if we remain in Him, we will bear fruit. He goes on to say apart from Him we can do nothing. Our fruit is the proof to ourselves and others that we are abiding and remaining in intimate fellowship with the Vine. What is the fruit we will produce? Let's see what Jesus says: "My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than than this: to lay down one's life for ones' friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit------fruit that will last------and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: LOVE each other. John 15:12-17 It goes back to obedience to the word of God, through the prompting of the Holy Spirit, and the love we have for each other. 

All of us that are chosen by God to be His sons are equipped with the Holy Spirit, and through Him have the power to obey His Holy word. We must when confronted with His word, obey. The second part to this is our love. This takes us back to what Jesus said was the greatest commandments, "Love the Lord your God with all you heart and your neighbor as yourself." If we are truly abiding in Jesus we will obey and we will love. Loving each other is the premises of our faith. We must be willing to be long-suffering, forbearing, and patient with one another just as He is with us. 

I write this post to my Christian brother's and sister's. Please extend grace to your fellow believers. We are all being sanctified and changed daily by our Father. I believe if we are going to show our intimacy with God we MUST display His love through our love for each other. "Christian's" have made a mess, and will continue to make a mess of our faith with their ignorant disputes with each other. We have to be different in our words and deeds, but please don't think for one minute that your "deeds" will portray His love. You can preform all the works and externals you want, but if your cup is dirty inside you're dead. You're dead to yourself and to others. 

Father, I pray as we walk this walk of faith, as we travel this narrow road, that we would love you more, sit with you more, seek your face in all things, love like you do. Open our eyes to our haughty spirit and humble our hearts. I am not above reproach and I stand in awe of the mercy you extend to me daily. Please Lord help me to extend your grace to my Christian family. Allow us to change this world like Enoch, Noah, Moses, Martin Luther, Paul, and many others. Help us to bridle our fleshly desires and passions and share your truth in love. Revive us Lord, use us to shine forth who You REALLY are. In Jesus name...Amen

We will leave a legacy. Will you be a white washed tomb with dead men's bones, or will you be a Enoch that leaves a legacy of righteousness and intimacy with God? 

The Homeschooling Debate

I like to lead a quite life...I really do, but I have felt the need to post this blog for a week so here goes.

My eyes were opened a few days ago when reading a cyber friend's blog. She is quite funny with sarcastic undertones to her writing which I love. She makes me laugh a lot, but that's not why I read her blog. I read because to be honest her life completely intrigue's me. She has 4 bio children and 8 children adopted from Ethiopia. I knew to raise this many kid's this woman must be my kinda woman. She is fierce, she is good, and she loves her kids. Her blog is www.paulandchrissy.blogspot.com


You really have to read her blog post entitled, "10 things I would like to say to homeschool mom's" to understand the point of this post. I'm going to try and link it if my technologically illiterate brain can figure it out. Anyway, I read it on a day I was hormonal mind you and it upset me. At first I thought I was completely right when I commented how I was irritated and "rubbed the wrong way," but after pondering and sleeping on it, (I highly recommend this before you ever comment on a public blog) I came to a different conclusion.

After this week I have come to some realizations about life especially how we school our kids. We make choices A LOT of the time based on past experience, circumstance, and prejudice that comes from our own experience.

Let me back up and give you a little history.This all started actually a few months ago when one of my best friends was here to visit. I love her dearly and I respect her for way more reasons than one, but one of those reasons is her kids. I have to say she has two of the best, most well behaved, God loving kids I have ever met. She started out with the full intention of homeschooling and did for a couple of years until her life changed in a horrible way. Her husband, the man that promise to love and cherish her cheated and left her. DIVORCE. It happened to someone I never thought it would. She struggled to make ends meet and put herself through college to be a school teacher. It brings tears to my eyes writing this thinking of how she took her babies to school with her. Can you imagine the will and determination she had. She has a master's degree and her kids are still in public school. Her circumstance changed and her dream of homeschooling became a distant hope. While she was here and we were discussing it my eyes were opened a tiny bit to circumstance.

Then just this past week while enjoying a MUCH needed date with the hubs I met a lady, a godly, Holy Spirit filled lady. We were talking about the Lord and raising children. I made a comment something like this, "I love homeschooling my daughter." The lady then proceeded to tell me how wonderful public school is and how if it wasn't for her teachers growing up she may not be here today, how she raise two daughter's on her own and had no choice but to send them to school. They too grew up to be godly women. She told me her mom died when she was 11 and her 16 year old sister raised her and her 5 siblings. Her sister made them read to her every night and encouraged their learning. She told me how our kids need to be salt and light in the school system. (I don't completely agree with this statement for elementary aged children, but that's another post.) After our conversation I was annoyed. I couldn't put my finger on it, but I felt like I was being reprimanded for homeschooling. (we homeschooling mom's do get a lot of harsh comment's too) I didn't realize it at the time, but my eyes were opened more to prejudice.

Also, this past week a dear friend confided in me that her husband and her were praying about putting their sweet boy in school. I could tell she was torn and inside I was torn for her too. This is where the judgmental spirit comes in. I started thinking thought's like, "What if he get's made fun of? What if he's bullied? How's his mom going to do this after homeschooling? I feel sorry for him." etc...

Then I read Chrissy's post and I didn't like being lumped with all the homeschooling mom's that berate public school mom's. After much thought and prayer I realized maybe the reason if offended me was because it was me. So there you have it I'm confessing my sin, but let me tell you where it started. Remember earlier in my post when I said our experience, circumstance, and prejudice defines us and dictates our choices. Well I HATED SCHOOL!!!!!! I hated it! I was bullied in high school by the senior girls my sophomore year because they thought I had slept with one of "their boys". I had about 20 girls waiting on me at my locker one year to beat me up, this happened a lot. I hated elementary school because I was tall and lanky. I weighed about 70 pounds in the 9th grade and was taller than all the boys. When I did make it to high school I had a horrible home life, all the boys wanted me for was sex, and I had a few true girlfriends. Anyway, I won't go into the gory details. It was bad trust me and I couldn't wait to get OUT. This was MY experience.

I was called by God to home-school because I would have never chosen it for myself. Lily was actually enrolled in a Christian school. Again my experience made me not want her in public school. I didn't want to home-school originally because I'm selfish and it's hard. I'm horrible at grammar and math and most days I pray my kid's can learn from me. It is only through the Holy Spirit I can do it at all. I love being here with my kids, I love seeing Sam draw a heart for the first time, teaching Lily to read, seeing them inquire about things, and the wheels turning in their little heads. I cherish every moment and when ask I will encourage and cheer on anyone that wants to do it. I'm done however judging people that don't.

You see there are experiences, circumstances, and prejudices that make people choose. That is the beauty of grace. We pray, we are led, we choose, and if we mess up God fixes it. That's what He did for me anyway. I messed up and was messed up in a public school, but God in His great love for me pulled me up out of the PIT and redeemed me.

So to ALL my public school mama friends....no more judging from this messed up home-school mom. As far as I'm concerned we're in this together!

And to you Chrissy.....Thank you for your post!

RAIN

It rains on the just and the unjust. That's what the bible says. The rain comes and it is HARD. The rain comes in the form of death, persecution, sickness, hurt, and pain. How do we endure? How do we remain faithful through the rain? Only through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I don't know how people do this without the Lord. How do they go? How do they live? Through the pain and the agony that is all around. All around in the form of babies dying, starving people, sadness, death, death is everywhere. We are all perishing, all of us are dying. But death came this week to a friend. Her babies murdered. Slain for no other reason than HATE. We live in a world of HATE! Hate reigns and lives free today.

We are worried about chicken, and homosexuality when people are perishing, DYING without Christ. Have you told anyone about His love? Better yet, are you living it?

I'm sad it's raining here. Tears are raining down my face. Broken for my friend. Angry that we don't CARE! When are we going to care? When are we going to see the rain is coming?

I know, I know I usually write feel good blogs about my precious kids. But I'm mad tonight. I'm mad that we see the signs. Men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. (2 Timothy 3:1-5) The signs are all around and our eyes are closed. Please LORD open eyes!!!!!!

He is coming and His reward is with Him. It will be worth the rain when we reign with the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. Help us endure the rain................

What Makes It ALL Worth IT!

There are days when we fail miserably. We yell. We feel like our little ones are impeding on our personal time. We think things we shouldn't. And sometimes there are days we want to hide from it all. But then there are days like today when my sweet girl wrote a love letter about Haiti, she prayed with her stuffed animals, and quoted the first Psalm. These days make up for the hard days. I'm so thankful that God's mercy is new every morning. That He extends His hands of grace and covers my sinfulness.   

Everyday is a new day of thanks and grace.

Thankful for little boys that mow like daddy.

Put their own hats and gloves on.

Spending time with a cousin far away and drawing a picture to express her love.

 Making this hideous doll for Lily and her toting it around so proud.

Love letter from my Sam. "Mom you're this one right here with the heart, and that's me beside you!"

Lily going to her room tonight to say prayers and sing with her stuffed animals.

And by far the BEST part of my day. "Haiti, Summer 2012. We're adopting from Haiti. A little girl named Rebekah. We were going to adopt a little boy named Stephen, but his parent's said no. We have been sad. All along I know God will provide for us." Lily wrote this today. She brought it down and read it to me. This is what it is all about. Parenting is training our children to love God and depend on Him. I'm so thankful that the seed we are sowing is falling on fertile ground. That the tender hearts of our children are soaking up the love of God. Although we are not perfect, it is through our imperfections they see His love. They know if He can love us He can love them too!

I'm blessed tonight!

Story....

I have a story to tell. One of love, of change, of hope. A true love story.....

On Sunday July the 15th Jeremy and I made a commitment to the Lord. We closed everything down and shut out the world in the hopes of hearing God.

I wrote in my journal: "I petition the Lord for an answer. To change my heart and help me to rest in the leadership of my husband. Or to radially change Jeremy's heart and speak His will to Him clearly. Let us hear Oh Lord! Unite our hearts!"

We for the first time in our marriage were in disagreement on a major issue....our adoption. I desired another child, but Jeremy had reservations. Since losing Stephen we were both fearful and apprehensive about another referral for many reasons. One being the money. We still feel a great responsibility to support Stephen, he is ours and we love him. We were fearful of losing another child, of the cost, (financial and humanly speaking), and of the "what if's?".

I laid down for the first time in our marriage ready to submit quietly if in fact this was the Lord's will for our family. The Lord spoke to me that night and said He would honor my submission. Jeremy has always been the leader of our home, but I can't tell you I have willfully submitted to his authority. This time however I knew I needed to be quite. So quite I have been. I haven't been talking on the phone unless it is necessary and I have stayed away from media. I've prayed more, not that it has been easy, satan has sent many distractions, but God's plans are not thwarted. "The Lord foil the plans of the nations, He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Psalm 33:10-11

During this time the Lord has been pruning me and teaching me. Jeremy and I have been spending our nights in prayer and discussion. Seeking the will of God. I can say our marriage has grown deeper than I even thought it could. Jeremy is so on fire for the Lord and is preaching with a passion I've never seen in him. I have seen the Lord in a different way. He loves me and He wants good things for me, but He also desires my complete obedience and faithfulness to Him. I have to confess I had gotten so wrapped up in the adoption it was stealing my peace.

I've had more time to reflect, time to see, and time to notice the blessings I already have. My life is full....right now I am complete. I am complete in Christ. If I never have another child, eat another meal, sleep another night....I am complete.

On July 19th I received a message from Giving Hope. They had a referral for us. A little 18 month old baby boy. My heart was soaring. I couldn't wait to see him and to know who he was. Jeremy came in and we talked about it. He said he wanted to see him. So we waited......

On July 24th I found out who he was. He was a baby boy I had picked out from the Giving Hope page. I had said to myself, "I wonder if that's him."

God had a plan....He had a plan in April when we traveled to Haiti. When we sat at the table with Stephen and Rebekah, and I wanted to name Willy, (Stephen) Benjamin. Jeremy said no he is Stephen. It was so perfect for him. I blogged about how significant his name was and how the Lord God himself named him. God had a plan for the name Benjamin we just didn't know it. I showed Jeremy the sweet baby boy. He said, "YES". This little boy that just came to Giving Hope was intended to be ours. Then he said his name is Benjamin. I looked up the meaning (I believe a name is very important) and I found this, "According to classical rabbinical sources, Benjamin was only born after Rachel had fasted for a long time, as a religious devotion with the hope of a new child as a reward." God has rewarded me with this child I have prayed for. I proceeded to tell Jeremy that his Haitian last name meant, "gift of God." I wanted a name that meant the same. Jeremy said, "his middle name is Matthais." I did a search and the name Matthais means, "gift of God." 

I have witnessed the miraculous hand of my Lord again. I'm so grateful that God has chosen us, our family for this. Our kids were upstairs the other day with their little friends playing like they were adopted. They were from all over the world. It moves me. It changes me. It makes me truly aware of the Lord's hand on our lives. We are making many sacrifices for these children, but to us they don't seem like a sacrifice. You see Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for my adoption. So I can shop at the Goodwill, sell material possessions, work extra hours, and give more of myself for these children. They are our children. Before we were created they were ours. Just as Rachel prayed for Benjamin, I pray for my Benjamin, I pray for my Rebekah, I pray for my Stephen. The womb of my heart has been opened by God! Praise be to the ONE TRUE GOD!!!!!!