Simple Faith

I was riding in the car tonight listening to a christian radio station. They were doing a story on people in the ministry losing their faith in God. There is even a new website that you can go to and express your new unbelief in secret. The worse part of this interview was when Southern Baptist pastors were confessing that they continue to preach even though they don't believe in God. Most of these clergy are trained in seminary's and are very well educated. I guess so educated that they undo the scripture with their intellect. One preacher made the comment that he had studied the Bible and it just had too many inconsistency's. He made the statement, "you would have to be simple minded to believe the Bible is the true word of God."

I was driving and I began to praise the Lord and thank Him for the gift of faith. I'm so thankful for a simple mind and child like faith. These are the last days and men are getting more perverse. To think that someone that doesn't even believe in God would continue to preach just for money. It's heartbreaking really.

I turned off onto my exit and there was one of the most beautiful rainbows I have ever seen. It was huge, so full, and bright. The God that created this universe has left signs for us to remember that He does exist. I'm so thankful for His reminders to us and for giving us the gift of faith.

Gratefulness This Morning

Thankful for farm fresh eggs

For snack time

Homemade blueberry muffins made from blueberries my children picked

Coloring in the lines

Kadesh-To be set apart, to be holy.....

The name Kedesh comes from the verb  (qadash) to be consecrated, hallowed, sanctified. Many scholars believe that this verb originally meant to separate, but that belief is made challengeable by the lack of occurrences of this verb in a secular context. in Akkadian this verb means to be clean or pure. The Biblical usage of this verb is pretty much on a par with the English verb to consecrate or be holy. 

I was sitting in the rocking chair rocking Sam about 2 years ago and the Lord spoke the word, "Kadesh" to me. It was so clear I actually saw the word written in my head. I looked up the meaning then, but it really didn't apply to my life like it does now. I believe the Lord has shown me this week why He spoke this Hebrew word to me 2 years ago. 

My husband and I attended a Baptist church for 7 years. We loved the congregation and served along side some amazing people. The Lord called us to leave 9 months ago. In that 9 months I have "seen" some things through spiritual lenses that I feel I must share. 

I have a lot of very close friends that I love very much, but we are all different. I have a friend that has been my friend for 22 years that is a Messianic Jew. I have a close friend that is very dear to me that knows the deep things of God. I love listening to her wisdom. I love watching her serve her husband and children. I have learned so much from her, but she too is very different than me.

We can become so consumed with doctrine's and theology that we forget our main purpose and that is to win others to Christ. How do we win them? By our love.....

I heard on Christian talk radio recently about many pastors leaving the church because they have become non-believers. Many of them have attended Seminary and have degrees that line the walls of their homes. And many of them sadly are still preaching for the money. They were obviously never converted, but it goes to show you that head knowledge doesn't save you or bring you to repentance.

We all are so different and I am in no way saying doctrine isn't important. I am however, saying that if doctrine has replaced your love it has become your love. We MUST be steeped in the scripture lest we be deceived by false teachers. We HAVE to discern the preaching from the pulpit. We also have share what the Lord teaches us with humility. And our lives need to be a reflection of what we have learned.

God said, "to love Him with all your heart, with all your mind, and with all your strength." He also said, "to love your neighbor as yourself." How can we be loving Him or our neighbor when all we do is judge our brother or sister's heart. We judge them on an external level when we have no idea where they are in the refining process. We think it is our job to sanctify them.

I'm writing this blog in hopes that you too will "see". We are all so different, but still His just the same. When we become puffed up with knowledge to the point we ourselves become unteachable, then we become like the Pharisee's that Jesus rebuked. 

I have personally "seen" the fruit of all of the friend's I mentioned above. Even still I can't know their heart, only Christ Himself can. When we become the judge and jury of someone else's convictions, I believe we cross a line that is only to be crossed by the judge of the world, Christ. 

We will stand before a Holy God, and no one will be there to blame for our life. We can't blame our pastor, husband, friends, or enemies for the way we lived our life. We must stop looking at other people and turn the mirror on ourselves. Is Christ really in us? Are we Kadesh? Are we set apart? Are we holy? Are we being sanctified? 

There are so many "things" that can separate us from each other. Paul said he became like the Jews to win the Jews, he became like the Gentiles to win the Gentiles. He brought himself low to proclaim the gospel to the lost. This made me think, "what did Paul and Peter preach?" They preached the gospel, they preached Christ and Him crucified. 

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. For it is written: "I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate." Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was please through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things and the things that are not to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord." 1 Corinthians 1:18-31

The gospel is so simple even a child can understand. It goes on in 1 Corinthians chapter 2 to say that there is a message of wisdom for the mature and in chapter 3 that we should advance from the milk of the word to the meat of the word. We absolutely must hide the word of God in our heart's, we must search out the deep things of God, we must learn from other godly men and women. But we can't become cold and indifferent to the cross.

Jesus came to set the captive's free. It was His love that hung Him on a cross for our iniquity, for our sin, for our shame, for our healing. I think of His ministry here on earth. Does our ministry mirror His? He touched the untouchable, He healed the sick, He allowed a sinner woman to kiss His feet. Have you ever thought of that doctrine? A prostitute that earned her living by sleeping with men. Took the oil that was no doubt paid for by her earnings as a prostitute and lavished it on our Lords feet. Imagine sitting at a table full of very devout men, and in walks a women with immodest clothing, letting her hair down, (which was a disgrace), kissing the feet of Jesus, (a very intimate thing to do) and washing His feet with her hair. Does that make you bristle? Does it make you cringe? To think of a dirty prostitute washing holiness. He sat with the tax collectors and sinner's, and the Pharisee's rebuked Him for it. They called Him a drunkard and a wine-bibber.

We are all different, we have all been delivered out of darkness. I don't know what your darkness is. I don't know what the Lord has pulled you out of. So how can I judge you? As Christian's we all should be striving for holiness. Holiness isn't if you home-school or not, holiness isn't what day of the week you attend church, holiness isn't clothing or food. Only Jesus can produce holiness in our lives. True Kadesh!!!

Building A Nest

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. Psalm 91:4


My Mother's Day gift arrived today and it is so fitting.

Have you ever watched a mama bird build it's nest? She takes such great care in gathering every twig and placing it in just the right place. She plucks out her feathers to line the nest. Birds make their nest with love and tenderness.

Yesterday the Lord revealed to me that the enemy was trying to pluck one of the little ones from my nest.

A hawk landed in our yard with a tiny, baby blue-jay in his grasp. There was much commotion outside by the family of blue-jays the baby was taken from. They were swooping down, squawking in a furious tizzy to save their baby. The baby unfortunately didn't make. The hawk's strong jaws had pierced his little neck and he died.

One of mine. One of my little birds has been struggling. The enemy is trying to steal my baby's tender heart. I have known for a while and noticed my baby's affection starting to wane. Those eyes, they had lost their sparkle.

I could turn my head, I could act like it's okay, I could deny the fact my baby's tender heart is being darkened by sin, but I can't. I can't allow the prowler, the prince of the air, satan to get to my baby bird. So I prayed diligently for the Lord to show me how to handle this situation. I confronted it. I started swooping, squawking, and I became furious that satan would try to steal one of mine. The sin of rebellion was deep in my bird's heart. The confession, "I roll my eyes every time you and dad tell me to do something."

satan wants nothing more than to destroy our family because the family is a picture of the church. The husband a picture of Jesus as the head of the church, the wife a picture of the bride of Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23 Our modern churches are slowing destroying the family and the God ordained authority of the family. Instead of training the husbands to be the head and teaching them how to lead, instead of teaching the wives to submit to their husbands as their head, instead of allowing the husband to teach their family. The wives are sitting under the authority of  their Sunday School teacher, (that may teach something that is contradicting their husband), and our children, our precious responsibility is given to a youth minister. We have given over so much of the child training to someone else.  Not only to the church, but we expect teachers and the media to raise our children. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

We have to guard our nest. We have to trust God to lead our families. We have to abide under the shadow of His wings and train our children to follow Him. We have to protect our children from the Fowler that is seeking to kill our children. satan wants to keep us bound in our own sinfulness and selfishness. satan wants us to turn our head so he can steal our children.

My babies all five of them are precious in the sight of the Lord. He has entrusted me and Jeremy to raise them for His glory. I pray that I would be diligent to teach my children when they are home in my care. I pray for my husband that he would continue to lead us in the ways of the Lord. I pray that I would learn to submit and honor my husband. I praise the Lord for the gift of home-schooling my children. I praise the Lord for my baby birds, for their personalities, for their strengths, and their weaknesses. I pray that the Lord will build up our nest.....unless He builds it....it's built in vain.


But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them. Psalm 103:17-18

Eli's 22 months!!!

Eli is 22 months old and almost home 7 months! Wow, time is flying by! We are loving every moment of raising him. Not that there aren't challenges because there are, but he is so perfect for our family. I'm amazed how the Lord brought him specifically into our family.

He is such a good boy. He only fusses if he's hungry, tired, or you take something away from him. He's pretty stubborn if he is determined to do something. His vocabulary is growing everyday. He says, "nana, poppy, papaw, more, he tries to say thank you, he says go, outside, cow, moo, bah, makes the "p" sound trying to say pretty, and he jabbers all the time. I love how now we are to a point where it seems like he's always been here.

Mother's day was so sweet because of our boy. I'm so thankful to his birth-mommy for carrying him and choosing life for him, and for his sweet Umma that cared for him in Korea.

I'm beyond blessed by his life. I can't wait to see what our family looks like this time next year!

The Beautiful Ugly

I have sat down multiple times to write a feel good blog, full of love, an exciting story of adoption, but that's not the story. I have to tell the true story, the hard story, the beautifully ugly story.

Brave, courageous, big heart, good people, loving people, these are the words and comments we have heard for the last couple of months. It's not true we're not, we're not good, we're not perfect, we're not brave, and we are most certainty not courageous. We are flawed, broken, human, sinful, and terrified. We are scared of this process, it hurts, it breaks, it challenges our faith. We are only obedient.

Adoption is founded in faith. Our spiritual adoption and the adoption of orphaned children is only through a faith in God. We traveled to Haiti relying on God to choose the children He would have in our home. I chose three and Jeremy said one. We arrived and two of the three I had in my mind as ours were matched with their forever family. Our Sovereign God had that planned from the foundation of this world. The Holy Spirit slammed shut the door I had intended to open. I rejoiced with the family, but I feared we wouldn't be matched at all. Yes, I fear! But God in His perfect wisdom knew we wouldn't have considered a 4 year old little boy. In our flesh and implanted in our mind was a fear of adopting out of birth order, adopting a boy, adopting a boy that's bigger than Sam. So here we were in the ugliness of our flesh with fear and trepidation, and there he was the beautiful. That beautiful boy with the contagious smile, infectious laugh, deep insightful eyes, waiting to be loved, to be held, to be kissed, to be hugged. Out of the ugly our Lord gave us a son. A son is now going to be given an inheritance from us, his family.

Then there was the girl. That beautifully perfect, girl! The princess awaiting her prince to lift her over his head and call her daughter. That dimple in her right check that makes my heart melt. She needs a daddy to tell her she's special, that she is loved, that she is worthy.

I sat at the breakfast table with Willy on my left, and Rebecca on my right and I started to weep. I looked at the ocean, the beauty that God spoke into existence,  I looked into the eyes of a broken boy, who has a story, and the eyes of a girl that's too young to know her story. I see the beauty in front of me and then I remember the ugly. The ugliness of the poverty one mile down the street, the ugliness of our sin, the ugliness of our doubt, the ugliness that brought us to Haiti for these children. My Father God is turning all of that ugliness into beauty. We are all groaning for the beautiful! At that moment Willy became Stephen Roy. Stephen means crown and Roy means King. Rebecca became Rebekah (after my sister that was murdered) Anne meaning full of grace. They have a new name just like me. When I answered the call of Jesus, when I offered up my life, and bowed to Him as my Lord, I became new. A new creature with a new name just like our children.

Adoption is hard. I'm mourning the children we held, kissed, and hugged. I mourn because I know Stephen doesn't understand that we are coming back, that we are his mommy and daddy. That no matter what anyone says he is ours and we love him. Rebekah is so little she doesn't know that she has a sister that can't wait to braid her hair, play baby dolls, and tell all of her secrets to. They don't know that every night Sam prays, "thank you God for my brother Stephen, thank you God for my sister Rebekah." They don't know that my heart yearns to gently rub their beautiful, soft skin, that this process can take two long years, and that they are going to grow and change and I'm going to miss it.

There are so many questions. Will they adjust? Will they get along with the other kids? Will we have room? Can we afford 5 kids? There are so many excuses we can make not to answer the call of God, and it won't be roses and rainbows. The kids will fight, the house will be extra messy, I will mess up everyday, our house will seem small in size, we will have to budget our money, but that's what the gospel is. It is dying to our desires, our wants, our flesh, and following in the footsteps of Jesus. It's not about sleep, feeling good about ourselves, looking good on the outside to the world, it's about radiating the love of Christ.

Becoming beautiful........that's what adoption is.......

The Shoe's Fit!!!!

Princess Rebekah has found her forever family!!!!

Our love story coming soon........