Story....

I have a story to tell. One of love, of change, of hope. A true love story.....

On Sunday July the 15th Jeremy and I made a commitment to the Lord. We closed everything down and shut out the world in the hopes of hearing God.

I wrote in my journal: "I petition the Lord for an answer. To change my heart and help me to rest in the leadership of my husband. Or to radially change Jeremy's heart and speak His will to Him clearly. Let us hear Oh Lord! Unite our hearts!"

We for the first time in our marriage were in disagreement on a major issue....our adoption. I desired another child, but Jeremy had reservations. Since losing Stephen we were both fearful and apprehensive about another referral for many reasons. One being the money. We still feel a great responsibility to support Stephen, he is ours and we love him. We were fearful of losing another child, of the cost, (financial and humanly speaking), and of the "what if's?".

I laid down for the first time in our marriage ready to submit quietly if in fact this was the Lord's will for our family. The Lord spoke to me that night and said He would honor my submission. Jeremy has always been the leader of our home, but I can't tell you I have willfully submitted to his authority. This time however I knew I needed to be quite. So quite I have been. I haven't been talking on the phone unless it is necessary and I have stayed away from media. I've prayed more, not that it has been easy, satan has sent many distractions, but God's plans are not thwarted. "The Lord foil the plans of the nations, He thwarts the purposes of the peoples. But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. Psalm 33:10-11

During this time the Lord has been pruning me and teaching me. Jeremy and I have been spending our nights in prayer and discussion. Seeking the will of God. I can say our marriage has grown deeper than I even thought it could. Jeremy is so on fire for the Lord and is preaching with a passion I've never seen in him. I have seen the Lord in a different way. He loves me and He wants good things for me, but He also desires my complete obedience and faithfulness to Him. I have to confess I had gotten so wrapped up in the adoption it was stealing my peace.

I've had more time to reflect, time to see, and time to notice the blessings I already have. My life is full....right now I am complete. I am complete in Christ. If I never have another child, eat another meal, sleep another night....I am complete.

On July 19th I received a message from Giving Hope. They had a referral for us. A little 18 month old baby boy. My heart was soaring. I couldn't wait to see him and to know who he was. Jeremy came in and we talked about it. He said he wanted to see him. So we waited......

On July 24th I found out who he was. He was a baby boy I had picked out from the Giving Hope page. I had said to myself, "I wonder if that's him."

God had a plan....He had a plan in April when we traveled to Haiti. When we sat at the table with Stephen and Rebekah, and I wanted to name Willy, (Stephen) Benjamin. Jeremy said no he is Stephen. It was so perfect for him. I blogged about how significant his name was and how the Lord God himself named him. God had a plan for the name Benjamin we just didn't know it. I showed Jeremy the sweet baby boy. He said, "YES". This little boy that just came to Giving Hope was intended to be ours. Then he said his name is Benjamin. I looked up the meaning (I believe a name is very important) and I found this, "According to classical rabbinical sources, Benjamin was only born after Rachel had fasted for a long time, as a religious devotion with the hope of a new child as a reward." God has rewarded me with this child I have prayed for. I proceeded to tell Jeremy that his Haitian last name meant, "gift of God." I wanted a name that meant the same. Jeremy said, "his middle name is Matthais." I did a search and the name Matthais means, "gift of God." 

I have witnessed the miraculous hand of my Lord again. I'm so grateful that God has chosen us, our family for this. Our kids were upstairs the other day with their little friends playing like they were adopted. They were from all over the world. It moves me. It changes me. It makes me truly aware of the Lord's hand on our lives. We are making many sacrifices for these children, but to us they don't seem like a sacrifice. You see Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for my adoption. So I can shop at the Goodwill, sell material possessions, work extra hours, and give more of myself for these children. They are our children. Before we were created they were ours. Just as Rachel prayed for Benjamin, I pray for my Benjamin, I pray for my Rebekah, I pray for my Stephen. The womb of my heart has been opened by God! Praise be to the ONE TRUE GOD!!!!!!

The Light In The Darkness

And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. Genesis 1:3

It is so easy to get distracted, distraught, discouraged with the darkness in the world. The recent events eclipse us with fear and anxiety. Darkness surrounds, it chokes out our faith. We stand in doubt of the greatness of our God when disaster strikes. But there is A LIGHT....THE LIGHT....CHRIST! "in Him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light that shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:4-5 The darkness of evil will NEVER extinguish the light of Christ!

He is the light of the world and He came into the world to expel the darkness. When the clouds roll in and the suns light is hidden, it is still there. When the darkness of this world hides our Lord, His light penetrates and shines upon us like the sun. 

We have to rest in His beam! Rest in the warmth of our Lord that covers us with His rays. 

I Have Lost My Life

Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39



My life is not my own. I was bought with the precious blood of Christ. My salvation is enough. I gained my life when I laid myself down for Christ. I am walking down the path that leads to life everlasting.

My life is sacrificed to Him and in Him. It doesn't belong to me. It is not mine to dictate. He owns me, I am His, and He is mine.

This journey is not about my comfort, my happiness, myself. This journey is about Him. My life is about Him.

I've been thinking this week while there have been no distractions about the grace of God. We in our human minds expect "big" miracles, "big" ministry's, "big" plans. But God's plans are sometimes in the stillness, in the quite, in the HARD. He may choose us for cancer, choose for us a "small" ministry, choose us to bring multiple children home that weren't carried in our wombs.

The woman in 2 Kings chapter had just lost her husband, her children to be sold into slavery, she was going to lose everything, but God. But God came to her aid. Not in a mighty way, but through her simple obedience. She believed and obeyed. He paid her debts and gave her just enough to live on. The very next story is about the Shunammite woman. She was a wealthy woman that lived in abundance. While we live out our lives on this earth there will be pain, poverty, orphans, widows, death. It is promised in scripture that we WILL suffer. Are we willing to suffer for Christ?

Lay down our lives so that He may live through us.

Celebrate

We celebrated 2 birthdays this week. Our sweet girl in Haiti and our gift from Korea. 

We started on the 10th with chalk birthday cakes and flags.

With a picture of our FAMILY!

Sam's picture of Eli with his birthday hat.

Lily baking cookies for her sister Rebekah.

Celebrating Rebekah's birthday with cookies. She's 3!

Then today we celebrated Eli's 2nd birthday!

Having fun with his favorite person....Papaw!

Goody bags and yummy treats.

I'm so thankful that Eli's birth-mom gave him life, hope, and FAMILY! I'm so grateful that his Umma cared for him in Korea. I'm so thankful that God chose to give him to us! What a GIFT! He is truly the best present ever!

Baby Eli

 

On July 16, 2010 a little boy was born. He was born in South Korea to a young woman that made a wonderful choice for her son. Across the world a mommy and daddy's heart's were being change and opened by God to adoption. 

Bellow is an excerpt from my blog last March:

Posted by Kimberly Williams on Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Good morning baby Eli. I don't know where you are in your stage of development, but I love you. Your daddy and I were just discussing what your temperament will be. Will you be like your sister laid back and easy going or strong willed and out going like your brother. Sam prays for you every day he says, "Thank you Jesus for baby Eli." Every time we see a baby he ask about you. What will it be like to have you here? I can't wait to see. I love you! Mommy 

On April 18th I opened my email and it read, "Are you ready yet?" Attached were these picture's of a sweet little Korean boy. 

Posted by Kimberly Williams on Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Eli,

Since I have received your pictures on April 18, 2011 I can't get you out of my mind. Mommy keeps praying that the Korean government and immigration will move quickly so I can come and get you. I pray to Jesus everyday that He will grant us favor and allow us to hold you by the end of July. You will be turning 10 months old in 6 days and I'm going to miss it. I know your foster mommy will give you lots of hugs and kisses though. I love you little boy with the sweet eyes!!!

Love you forever and always,

Your Mommy

posted by Kimberly Williams on Thursday, June 2, 2011

Eli,

We just received the go ahead on the adoption process so that means mommy is coming for you soon!!! Tammy sent new picture's of you and my how you have grown. I love your sweet smile and I can't wait to see it in person. Eli I pray that you always remember how much our Father in heaven loves you! He has taught mommy through getting you just how much He loves me! xxoo's sweet boy!!!

We Missed Eli's first birthday, but we celebrated anyway!

Dear Eli,

Your birthday has come and gone. We celebrated with a sweet cars cake that Sam just knew you would love and we spent some sweet time together as a family minus one. Mommy is much better this week thanks to much prayer. I really believe I'm coming soon. The Lord knows and that's all that matters. Sam has been carrying your picture around talking to you and feeding you part of his supper and sissy kisses you before bed every night. Your daddy brought up a good point the other night, you don't know who we are. I pray everyday that you will bond easily with us and that you won't grieve to hard or too long for your Umma. She will always be a part of your life. I already look forward to the day we return to Korea as a family to meet your first family. I love you my little one year old boy!!! I'll see you soon!!! 

We prepared for him...

I wrote poems for him....

Posted by Kimberly Williams on Friday, July 22, 2011

Hold You

As I sit in my chair I rock and I wait for the day my arms will no longer ache.

Ache to hold you and cuddle you tight.

Ache to squeeze you and kiss you goodnight.

Oh how I love you if you only knew, but I’m a stranger, someone foreign to you.

I look at your picture and take all of you in, your smile, your eyes, your sweet little chin.

I pray every day that the call will come and that your Umma is giving youplenty of love.

If I could reach around the world tonight in my arms I would hold you tight.

Then it was time to go get him and bring him home...

Eli is home! He will celebrate his second birthday this Saturday with his family. I'm so happy to have him home with us, but it is bittersweet at the same time. Two years ago a precious young girl chose life for him, but she chose to empty her arms too. She won't get to hold him, kiss him, sing lullabies to him, or celebrate birthdays with him. I am forever grateful to her for this gift. He is a gift! He has taught me to love unconditionally, to love completely, and to love like Christ loves me. So as we celebrate this weekend I will reflect on the HARD of it all, the wonder of it all, and the love in it all!

LOVE

LOVE........

What does it mean to LOVE?

If you read my blog you will see a progression of my deepest thoughts and you will know I have been thinking a lot about the Church. The Lord has been teaching me and my husband that Church isn't a building, but it is a people. I knew this already from reading the scripture. It is clear that the Holy Spirit is dwelling in this temple of flesh. It is clear that we are the body and Christ is the head. What does love have to do with Church? Love is the reason for the Church. This is MY commandment, that ye love one another, as I have loved you. Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:12-13)
If we are to love one another as Christ loved us that means we would DIE for each other. Would we be willing to endure the pain of the cross? What about a little physical discomfort, a little of our time, or goodness forbid our money?

Love......

Love is my friend having cancer. Yes, I meant what I said. Jesus loves my friend Rachel so much he has allowed her to have cancer. You see cancer is such a little thing to God. He is using Rachel's body as a testimony of His love, His power, and His grace. I have already seen so much love poured out on her and her family. I have seen her husband change. I have watched as she sat firm in her hospital bed and proclaimed, He is GOOD. God is good even in cancer.

Love....

Love the reason I'm writting this blog. There is a little brown girl in Haiti. I don't know that much about her and I've only spent 24 hours with her, but I LOVE HER. She is beautiful, perfect, and made in the image of my loving God. Her birthday is in two days, she will be 3. Do you know how hard that is? Having a child you love so far away on her birthday. I'm busy this week planning Eli's birthday party. He will be 2 on the 16th. (another blog) I'm so thankful for him and I can't believe he is home for his birthday, but I remember last year when I missed his first birthday. It's HARD, adoption is so hard. So as we celebrate Eli's birth I will miss Rebekah's celebration. So I'm asking a very special favor from you........

LOVE......

Your support of the children of Giving Hope Rescue Mission. Stephen is there, beautiful children without parent's some with varioius illnesses need your support. I want to be a voice for these children. God LOVES them, will you?

Please go to http://www.roomforgraceintl.org/ and sponsor a little one today. If you LOVE you will obey!

Gratitude Today

       I was at the cutting board chopping fresh vegetables for a recipe I made up. Jeremy was taking the kids to the bank so they could indulge in a sucker. I stood there crying and chopping. So thankful.........

For FOOD

For husbands that bring home fresh fruit...

For my daughter that wrote a song about this sea shell...

Shell let me hear your noise of the soft swaying sound of the sea.
Your noise so beautiful. So shell , shell, lovely shell. Let me hear your noise.
Written By: Lillian 

On the fourth of July I became so humbled and grateful for our freedom...