Building A Nest

He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. Psalm 91:1

He shall cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you shall take refuge; His truth shall be your shield and buckler. Psalm 91:4


My Mother's Day gift arrived today and it is so fitting.

Have you ever watched a mama bird build it's nest? She takes such great care in gathering every twig and placing it in just the right place. She plucks out her feathers to line the nest. Birds make their nest with love and tenderness.

Yesterday the Lord revealed to me that the enemy was trying to pluck one of the little ones from my nest.

A hawk landed in our yard with a tiny, baby blue-jay in his grasp. There was much commotion outside by the family of blue-jays the baby was taken from. They were swooping down, squawking in a furious tizzy to save their baby. The baby unfortunately didn't make. The hawk's strong jaws had pierced his little neck and he died.

One of mine. One of my little birds has been struggling. The enemy is trying to steal my baby's tender heart. I have known for a while and noticed my baby's affection starting to wane. Those eyes, they had lost their sparkle.

I could turn my head, I could act like it's okay, I could deny the fact my baby's tender heart is being darkened by sin, but I can't. I can't allow the prowler, the prince of the air, satan to get to my baby bird. So I prayed diligently for the Lord to show me how to handle this situation. I confronted it. I started swooping, squawking, and I became furious that satan would try to steal one of mine. The sin of rebellion was deep in my bird's heart. The confession, "I roll my eyes every time you and dad tell me to do something."

satan wants nothing more than to destroy our family because the family is a picture of the church. The husband a picture of Jesus as the head of the church, the wife a picture of the bride of Christ. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Ephesians 5:22-23 Our modern churches are slowing destroying the family and the God ordained authority of the family. Instead of training the husbands to be the head and teaching them how to lead, instead of teaching the wives to submit to their husbands as their head, instead of allowing the husband to teach their family. The wives are sitting under the authority of  their Sunday School teacher, (that may teach something that is contradicting their husband), and our children, our precious responsibility is given to a youth minister. We have given over so much of the child training to someone else.  Not only to the church, but we expect teachers and the media to raise our children. And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4

We have to guard our nest. We have to trust God to lead our families. We have to abide under the shadow of His wings and train our children to follow Him. We have to protect our children from the Fowler that is seeking to kill our children. satan wants to keep us bound in our own sinfulness and selfishness. satan wants us to turn our head so he can steal our children.

My babies all five of them are precious in the sight of the Lord. He has entrusted me and Jeremy to raise them for His glory. I pray that I would be diligent to teach my children when they are home in my care. I pray for my husband that he would continue to lead us in the ways of the Lord. I pray that I would learn to submit and honor my husband. I praise the Lord for the gift of home-schooling my children. I praise the Lord for my baby birds, for their personalities, for their strengths, and their weaknesses. I pray that the Lord will build up our nest.....unless He builds it....it's built in vain.


But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, and His righteousness to children's children, to such as keep His covenant, and to those who remember His commandments to do them. Psalm 103:17-18

Eli's 22 months!!!

Eli is 22 months old and almost home 7 months! Wow, time is flying by! We are loving every moment of raising him. Not that there aren't challenges because there are, but he is so perfect for our family. I'm amazed how the Lord brought him specifically into our family.

He is such a good boy. He only fusses if he's hungry, tired, or you take something away from him. He's pretty stubborn if he is determined to do something. His vocabulary is growing everyday. He says, "nana, poppy, papaw, more, he tries to say thank you, he says go, outside, cow, moo, bah, makes the "p" sound trying to say pretty, and he jabbers all the time. I love how now we are to a point where it seems like he's always been here.

Mother's day was so sweet because of our boy. I'm so thankful to his birth-mommy for carrying him and choosing life for him, and for his sweet Umma that cared for him in Korea.

I'm beyond blessed by his life. I can't wait to see what our family looks like this time next year!

The Beautiful Ugly

I have sat down multiple times to write a feel good blog, full of love, an exciting story of adoption, but that's not the story. I have to tell the true story, the hard story, the beautifully ugly story.

Brave, courageous, big heart, good people, loving people, these are the words and comments we have heard for the last couple of months. It's not true we're not, we're not good, we're not perfect, we're not brave, and we are most certainty not courageous. We are flawed, broken, human, sinful, and terrified. We are scared of this process, it hurts, it breaks, it challenges our faith. We are only obedient.

Adoption is founded in faith. Our spiritual adoption and the adoption of orphaned children is only through a faith in God. We traveled to Haiti relying on God to choose the children He would have in our home. I chose three and Jeremy said one. We arrived and two of the three I had in my mind as ours were matched with their forever family. Our Sovereign God had that planned from the foundation of this world. The Holy Spirit slammed shut the door I had intended to open. I rejoiced with the family, but I feared we wouldn't be matched at all. Yes, I fear! But God in His perfect wisdom knew we wouldn't have considered a 4 year old little boy. In our flesh and implanted in our mind was a fear of adopting out of birth order, adopting a boy, adopting a boy that's bigger than Sam. So here we were in the ugliness of our flesh with fear and trepidation, and there he was the beautiful. That beautiful boy with the contagious smile, infectious laugh, deep insightful eyes, waiting to be loved, to be held, to be kissed, to be hugged. Out of the ugly our Lord gave us a son. A son is now going to be given an inheritance from us, his family.

Then there was the girl. That beautifully perfect, girl! The princess awaiting her prince to lift her over his head and call her daughter. That dimple in her right check that makes my heart melt. She needs a daddy to tell her she's special, that she is loved, that she is worthy.

I sat at the breakfast table with Willy on my left, and Rebecca on my right and I started to weep. I looked at the ocean, the beauty that God spoke into existence,  I looked into the eyes of a broken boy, who has a story, and the eyes of a girl that's too young to know her story. I see the beauty in front of me and then I remember the ugly. The ugliness of the poverty one mile down the street, the ugliness of our sin, the ugliness of our doubt, the ugliness that brought us to Haiti for these children. My Father God is turning all of that ugliness into beauty. We are all groaning for the beautiful! At that moment Willy became Stephen Roy. Stephen means crown and Roy means King. Rebecca became Rebekah (after my sister that was murdered) Anne meaning full of grace. They have a new name just like me. When I answered the call of Jesus, when I offered up my life, and bowed to Him as my Lord, I became new. A new creature with a new name just like our children.

Adoption is hard. I'm mourning the children we held, kissed, and hugged. I mourn because I know Stephen doesn't understand that we are coming back, that we are his mommy and daddy. That no matter what anyone says he is ours and we love him. Rebekah is so little she doesn't know that she has a sister that can't wait to braid her hair, play baby dolls, and tell all of her secrets to. They don't know that every night Sam prays, "thank you God for my brother Stephen, thank you God for my sister Rebekah." They don't know that my heart yearns to gently rub their beautiful, soft skin, that this process can take two long years, and that they are going to grow and change and I'm going to miss it.

There are so many questions. Will they adjust? Will they get along with the other kids? Will we have room? Can we afford 5 kids? There are so many excuses we can make not to answer the call of God, and it won't be roses and rainbows. The kids will fight, the house will be extra messy, I will mess up everyday, our house will seem small in size, we will have to budget our money, but that's what the gospel is. It is dying to our desires, our wants, our flesh, and following in the footsteps of Jesus. It's not about sleep, feeling good about ourselves, looking good on the outside to the world, it's about radiating the love of Christ.

Becoming beautiful........that's what adoption is.......

The Shoe's Fit!!!!

Princess Rebekah has found her forever family!!!!

Our love story coming soon........

Family

I asked Lily to set the table tonight and she made these place-cards on her own. I looked and I noticed, FAMILY. We are a family. A mommy, a daddy, a sister, and two brothers. Our family dynamic is about to change as we accept the Lord's plan for our lives. Our family is going to be many shades of brown, and our children will be like olive plants around our table. "In the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around you table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord." Psalm 128:3-4 Through birth, adoption, brought forth from many nations, and races God is building our family. 

I have no desire for wealth, fame, nice clothes, or fine things. I only desire that my children serve the Lord. My prayer is for our family to be a beacon on a hill, a light in the darkness, an encouragement to the weak, and a witness of the love of Jesus Christ. 

FAMILY

Blessed Are The Pure

All fear is but the notion that God's love ends. Do you think I end, that My bread warehouses are limited, that I will not be enough? But I am infinite, child. What can end in Me? Can life end in Me? Can happiness? Or peace? Or anything you need? Doesn't your Father always give you what you need? I am the Bread of Life and My bread for you will never end. Fear thinks God is finite and fear believes that there is not going to be enough and hasn't' counting one thousand gifts, endlessly counting gifts, exposed the lie at the heart of all fear? In Me, blessings never end because My love for you never ends. If My goodnesses toward you end, I will cease to exist, child. As long as there is a God in heaven, there is grace on earth and I am the spilling God of the uncontainable, forever-overflowing-love-grace. Ann Voskamp

Fear has ruled me, captured me, contained me, stifled me, stopped me, crippled me, bound me, and held me captive to a lie.

We are all weak in the flesh, struggling to make it day to day, bound in this life when we fear. We all do it, we all forget who our God is. The scars keep us locked up in ourselves, our self-pity, self-doubt, even to the point of self-loathing. Our past reckons with us, reminds us how weak we really are. I have deep wounds that cause anxiety to rise up within me. I want to control and I can't release my tight grip on myself and my life. Control comes from a life of being controlled by the wrong thing. Controlled by ungodly men, beaten down, and controlled by my sin.

How can I do this? How knowing what I know continue to fear? Hasn't He delivered me? Don't I believe?

He tells me in His word to me not to be shaken: Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." Hebrews 12:28-29

The God of the universe that shakes nations, that holds our breath in His hands tells me not to be moved, not to be shaken. Fear not or be not dismayed for He will go with me wherever I go....that's what He promises me. Not to even worry about food or clothing, because doesn't He even clothe the lilies of the field. His love for me is infinite, it is TRUE love, it is love so strong, so real that He sent His son to bleed out His blood to cover me.

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, DO NOT FEAR! I will help you.  

How can I the one who was formed say to the one who formed me WHY?

I have too much, too many blessings, too many reasons to praise my Maker, to stand in awe of Him, my consuming fire.

I'm going to list them lest I forget. I'm going to live in the light. I'm going to SEE His goodness in everything. I'm going to live PURE in heart with no fear, doubt, worry, or anxiety.

Will it be hard to die to this flesh? Will it be hard to return to Eden to the promise He has made to keep me and love me forever? YES, it will be hard, but with God ALL things are possible.

He inhabits the praise of His people. He will come and dwell with me in the PRAISE. Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise the fruit of lips that openly profess His name. Hebrews 13:15


I praise and thank you Jesus for:

Big brown eyes....

Long, delicious eyelashes...

Clover for bees....

Sweet Asian eyes...

A baby not formed in my womb, not conceived in my marital bed, but is a gift from God just the same...

Art Work....

Honeysuckles...

Trails that lead to hidden treasure...

Drinking sweet nectar....

Being hidden in the shadow of the Almighty...

It is all His good and perfect gifts to me His child.......

Joy In Picture's

Written on our chalkboard by my Lily is the scripture: "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God"

I've pondered this verse all week, then this morning during my quite time after reading my Bible I picked up Ann Voskamp's book and read, "I know how monstrously inhumane I can be. Raging at children for minor wrongdoings while I'm the one defiling the moment with sinful anger. Hoarding possessions while others die of starvation. Entertaining the mind with trivial pretties when I haven't bowed the head and heart in a prayer longer than five minutes in a week. My tongue has had a razor edge and my eyes have rolled haughty and my neck has been stiff and graceless and I have lived the filth ugly, an idolater, a glutton, and a grace thief who hasn't had time for the thanks. I wrap the hem of my splattered apron around a finger. I cannot raise the eye. We've read it around the table at the close of the meal, us all with Bibles open, and we've read the verse with one voice: "God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God" (Matthew 5:8)." 

I burst into tears. There is was again that verse: "Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall SEE God."

How do we see God? We have to look!

Thank you Jesus for birthday candle's and a sweet 4 year old to blow them out....

For parties and friends....

For Pa-paw's and fat bellies...

For gifts..... 

For uncle's that throw you up high and make you  giggle...

For belly laughs... 

For cousins that love you like crazy....and are friends for life...

For backyard games.... 

For sweets to eat....

For the simple faith of a child.... 

For our paperwork ready to send and the perseverance to get it done.....